THE “SWALLET HOLE” HASH
Run Number: 353
Date: 26 Mar 06
Time: 59 minutes
Distance: 4.5 miles
Run Location: Puddletown Forest
RV: The Car Park at Thorncombe Forest (Hardy’s Cottage)
The Pub: The Blue Vinny
Weather: Wet, poor vis.
HARE: Martin (Madness) Lawson
HOUNDS:- Jim (Forget Me Not) Forrest
- J-F (Entente) Lechanoine
- Sylvie (Ça Va) Lechanoine
- Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones
- Martin (Madness) Lawson
Not In Photograph:- Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle
Social Hounds/Hash Puppies:Real Hounds:
THE WORDS
En route to the RV at Thorncombe Wood carpark, the weather became progressively less favourable and this Wordster commented that it was “a tad murky”. This sounded to the listener more like the name of a lonely cowpoke or some such and this inspired the thought that it would be a jolly good ‘nom de plume’~ thus retaining the anonymity of the scribe as recommended in the newly posted Hash Rules (see website).
Tad Murky can thus report that the poor visibility also prevented half the Hounds from seeing the turn off for the carpark (that’s the top half, of course). As a result BrEW and Ronlet made it just about in time for the scheduled off, only to be outdone by Forget Me Not who arrived ‘Birdseye fashion’, a few minutes later with the added excuse that he’d been stuck behind a tractor for 10 miles. That’s Dorset for you. The carpark was pretty full – obviously some folk hadn’t needed the excuse of Mothering Sunday to deter them from their weekly constitutional. Spotting 2 or 3 large buckets of water set to one side, BrEW and Ronlet initially thought that the Hare was being particularly considerate by providing the necessary wash down facilities for the post Hash clean up. The arrival of 4 ponies and riders, however, removed this misapprehension. Judging from the state of said beasts, the Hounds were going to be in for a muddy ride.
The Hare confirmed this in his preamble and introduced us to the novel notion of the ‘swallet hole’, apparently a geographical feature much in evidence in the area, which orienteers amongst you would recognise as a ‘depression’. He also cheered the Hounds by confirming that it was a hilly, 4½ mile course with many paths, tracks and junctions. Hence he had made the executive decision that from the checks it would be one blob and On. This brought about a degree of doubtful murmuring from the Pack, unsure about such radical change. “Madness!” And waving his arm in the general direction of several paths we were encouraged to seek the first leg. The ladies had it and Ronlet and Ça Va set the early pace, keeping a good distance from the pursuing Hounds, until coming to a pathway junction with no check and various options. The cry of “LOOKING” went up and this scenario was repeated to good effect throughout the trail, allowing the Pack to regroup nicely.
Thorncombe Woods and Puddletown Forest proved to be an intricate area ideal for hashing – in addition to marked tracks were numerous unmarked paths and rides which kept us all guessing. Early on Ça Va displayed the 6th Sense necessary to keep the On-On flowing and to avoid the accusation of favouritism, the Hare was at pains to ensure that everyone had the opportunity to enjoy such luck by placing checks at 5-way junctions. It was interesting to note that all checkers tended to walk the checks automatically – presumably the one blob and on ploy curbed the desire to move too speedily away from the check in case ‘one’ was caught out. That happened to ‘one’ quite frequently. BrEW on the other hand seemed to catch Ça Va’s luck and his yellow T-shirt was often seen disappearing into the murky gloom, his On-Ons fading into the blanket fog. It was also useful when the dayglo-bedecked Forget Me Not found the trail, although his call of the On was not always clear – that Scottish accent again!
Clothing for the hash was clearly an important issue. BrEW & Forget Me Not had sensibly opted for single layer and bright. Entente and Madness had sensed that despite the cloudy skies, the temperature was up and with the pending precipitation, shorts would not only help them to keep their cool, but it would minimise the drag factor (and the washing). The ladies on the other hand got it sadly wrong. Within 10 minutes Ronlet was becoming dangerously overheated and decided to risk scaring an unsuspecting public, by diving into a handy bush and divesting herself of the Helly Hansen. Redonning the rain jacket was a good move as 5 minutes later the blanket of fog turned into a sheet of rain. This spelled disaster for Ça Va as the total body jerseyware soaked up the rain like a sponge and those hills Madness had promised became more mountainous.
On the uphill bits the ladies were therefore more than happy to let Entente, BrEW and Forget Me Not take it in turns to lead the way, cannily waiting for the downhill bits to take over from them when finding the Ons. Another pattern that emerged was BrEW’s strange predilection for veering off the trail at a tangent every time he spied an inviting forest track. He either didn’t trust the Hare or was subbing for Birdseye who normally opts to run that extra mile!
A somewhat wet and bedraggled crew emerged by a scaffold clad Thomas Hardy Cottage and realised that the On-In must be near at hand. In line with the navigation skills shown when arriving at the RV, Forget Me Not plunged off right. Entente and Ça Va, following a dog-walking family who had declared that the car park was straight ahead, thought that their gallic cunning would win them the On-In honours. But No! That would be too obvious and BrEW and Ronlet sussed that a more devious route, following the path that the dog walkers had come along would no doubt also lead back, albeit using the more ‘scenic’ route. Of course, by scenic we mean that an extra hill was thrown in and this allowed Ronlet to take over from BrEW in the final downhill gallop ~ this by dint of the superior traction afforded by those flashy X-country shoes she wears, much to BrEW’s disgust as he slithered in her wake. The rest of the pack also eventually slid into view and everyone gave Madness a well deserved round of applause for an excellent lay.
Following the less than pleasant conditions prevalent in the carpark for drying off and changing, Hounds and Hare speedily made their way to the Blue Vinny (in the aptly named Puddletown), where they enjoyed a reviving meal huddled up against the radiator – or, as we say in franglais, “manger centrale”. TM
MUG & T-SHIRT RATINGS
(??*) - Denotes attendance by those not Mug Rated (social hounds).
GOLD T-SHIRT AWARD (50 AND OVER)
Andy (Warthog) Goodman (162); Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones (115); Terry (Buggalugs) Canham (108); Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle (85); Ed (Birdseye) Sadd (79); Tim (Classic) King (69); Terry (Walt) Disney (68); Mark (Jibber) Humphries (56); Tim (Silent Running) Bryning (52)
MUG AWARD AND CAN WEAR BLUE T-SHIRT (25 - 49)
Duncan (Day Glo) Ray (48 + 1*); John (Semaphore) Carr (42); J-F (Entente) Lechanoine (42); Frances (Stop Watch) Canham (34*); Ruth (Typhoon) Canham (34*); Sylvie (Ça Va) Lechanoine (28); Helen (Elle) Goodman (26*)
NEED MORE HASHES OR POSTING ORDER (10 - 24)
Jim (Forget Me Not) Forrest (24 + 5*); Steve (Bob the Builder) Pritchard (20); Nick (Tri Harder) Bateson (20); Gordon (F Med) Rafferty (18); Tom (Two Shoes) Gillard (15); John (Strider) Bryning (16); Martin (Madness) Lawson (16); Ian (Abdul) Condie (11 + 1*); Lesley (Tinkerbell) Bryning (10*).
NEED MORE HASHES (5 - 9)
Rowland (Pet Rescue) Stibbards (9); Gail Sadd (8 + 3*); J-C (Moose Milk) Boisvert (7 + 1*); Sarah Bryning (1+6*); Ben Sadd (6); John Harry (Hot Dog) Ross (5); Emma Sadd (5); John (Nokia) Noraika (5); Nick (The Gnome) Laffan (5); Jayne (Blackberry) Boisvert (5*).
KEEP HASHING (1 - 4)
Clare Sadd (4); Heather Terrington (2 + 1*); Ombeline Lechanoine (3*); Rod (Dyno) Thomas (2); Martin Hughes (1); Colin (tbc) McGrory (1); Kate Forrest (1*); Julie Carr (1); James Carr (1); William Carr (1); Robert Carr (1*); Sandie Disney (1*).
Price: Madness # 074 |
