THE “MOUNT MUDMORE” OR “DIRTY DOZEN” HASH
Run Number: 359
Date: 22 May 06
Time: 1 hour 35 minutes (No Kidding!)
Distance: He said about 4 miles!
Run Location: Farnham
The Pub: Ed’s Place
Weather: Partly cloudy and very cold
HARE(S): Ed (Birdseye) Sadd
HOUNDS:
Rear Row:- Nik (Vesper) Beecher
- Mark Vincent & Brûlée
- Edward Vincent
- Ed (Birdseye) Sadd
- Martin (Madness) Lawson
- Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones
- Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle
Front Row:- Sylvie (Ça Va) Lechanoine
- J-F (Entente) Lechanoine
- Tim (Silent Running) Bryning and Monty (Alamein)
Social Hounds/Hash Puppies:- Gail Sadd – Hostess
- Jim (Forget me Not) Forest
Real Hounds:
THE WORDS
Confident that Farnham’s through roads would see little traffic, the pack assembled in the middle of the road outside the Museum Inn. Early birds included On Pres and the Vincents whose stickability warrants some thought being given to Hash Handles. Ronlet & BrEW rolled up looking bemused or, as it transpired, jet-lagged. They were also rather reluctant to get out of their Volvo which would subject them to the harsh temperatures of a UK Spring which had turned somewhat chilly, if not Arctic in comparison with the 30 degrees C they had just left in Bali. It’s OK for some. The hardened stay-at-homers were, however, prepared to sport shorts in some instances, which they may have regretted later on in the course. Some long-time-no-see-ers were welcomed to the growing band – Kinky Bugger looking a tad ‘trepidatious’ with the predictions that this was bound to be a long hash, and Vesper who reminded us that it was 3 years since he had last run. Entente was convinced that this would be his (Vesper’s) 25th run and regretted that no tankard had been commissioned – but Vesper assured him that he already had one and promised to dig out some past records, which he was sure lurked in his attic somewhere and which would refine On Sec’s run list.
The Hare’s distracted appearance spoke of possible last minute laying and the realisation that 12 hounds were not what was expected when planning the catering. Adding to this tension was the fact that the RV for the start was Ashmore Pond and some logistical manoeuvrings were required to transport the eager group. As Ronlet had still not got out of the car, the Volvo was volunteered and along with the Sadd fleet, the Baker’s Dozen were delivered to the start and the Final Briefing. This consisted of some confusing explanations about S’s and L’s, the Birdseye ‘short v long’ hallmark, and to add to this confusion, once the initial search had commenced Warthog and BrEW discovered an early S which couldn’t be right (we weren’t *******ed enough yet) and returning to the start we discovered the Hare had craftily planted some fresh sawdust markers which directed everyone back and round the pond.
At the first check, 3 ways were duly checked. Edward venturing over a stile into a wide field found little evidence of a trail, but when the other 2 options proved false was encouraged to search again whilst the rest of us negotiated an entrance. Warthog – full of beans still – demonstrated how not to do a 5-bar gate vault, landing squarely on his derrière. This prompted the more cautious Mark to open the gate and let the pack through in a more seemly fashion. The trail then joined what would have been the initial short leg and the second check. In the forefront again Warthog and BrEW took the road south and confidently shouted the On at a third blob. A mistake or a new wheeze? At any rate it was a false alarm as the next junction was marked with a cross. This left Ronlet leading the way with Edward across a field towards a coppice.
At this stage the pack set a goodly pace and not just because legs were still fresh. In fact for some this was probably not the case as Madness revealed he’d spent the Sabbath running 2 stages (only 14 miles) of the “Ridgeway” relay run (not called Madness for nothing!). The real reason for the good gallop was probably because it was unpleasantly cold, particularly in exposed places – thinking of those shorts again. It was obviously too parky for Ronlet as she had to take an unscheduled stop at a junction check. The Hare gallantly waited for her to catch up, but the hounds were not too far adrift, as the key feature of the Hash had begun to kick in. Following a narrow, somewhat overgrown woodside path the muddy underfoot conditions were slowing the pack down nicely, and those with somewhat slicker soles were finding it particularly treacherous. Mark also managed to make contact with the hidden stump that had caught the Hare out earlier on the lay – tricky with barbed wire close at hand.
Despite the fact that Ashmore is higher than Farnham, Birdseye still seemed to find sufficient uphill climbs to consume the calories. The route must have doubled back on itself, using the cover of the woods to bemuse us. To conserve his energy, Mark was astute enough to note that the best ploy was to arrive at a check in at least 3rd position, thereby looking keen and fit enough, but with luck not needing to recce the checks. OK if there are only 2 choices! Vesper, BrEW and Ronlet hadn’t quite worked out this excellent stratagem, and Silent Running also overruled Alamein’s sensible tactic of finding a nice muddy puddle to rest up in, whilst some other idiot did the work. Everyone else could see we were in for the long haul and took a more steady approach or took on a supportive role, particularly when we approached the hour mark with no end in sight. Jibber was giving Kinky Bugger bags of encouragement (I think that’s what it was) and Entente stayed with Ça Va or was it the other way round as she raced up those hills. The whip-ins when they arrived were gratefully received and gave us the opportunity to admire the choice of route – which, as Silent Running commented, must be even more conducive to Winter hashing - if you’re a hippo.
And what of Warthog? The conditions – muddy, hilly, long… guaranteed winner. But no, the ’hog was nowhere to be seen – he’d taken a short cut!!! Some flimsy excuse was offered about the sole coming off his shoe – one Iron Man too many, obviously. He rejoined the group after the back of the run had been broken and we emerged at the entrance to Larmer Tree. If my local knowledge is correct this was still some 3 or 4 km from Farnham. Birdseye commented that we’d best keep going as the cloud cover was dulling the light – Ronlet pointed out that it was more likely because we were approaching midnight! Possibly taking the hint, the run through the Gardens was uninterrupted and the final check ignored as the Hare indicated the On-In – a 2 km canter into the village with BrEW and Warthog (strangely unencumbered by a flapping sole) leading us in, closely followed by Ronlet and then a rather strung out and Dirty Dozen culminating with the gallant Edward whose ‘Can we stop now?’ expression spoke for us all.
Fortunately for Birdseye the pleasantness of the countryside…those panoramic views, the scent of the bluebells…obscured the comparison with an assault course experience and we were truly mollified by the marvellous repast awaiting us in his kitchen.
 Birdseye’s chilli and/or fish curry and rice followed by Ça Va’s wonderful cakes (Fnah! Fnah!!) – perfick.
Not to miss out a good meal (and why not when you’re away from home) Forget Me Not arrived to share the feast and accept the early award of his tankard in anticipation of his 25th run in a couple of weeks’ time – best to do it in front of a good crowd.
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And thanks to Gail for putting up with the Dirty Dozen. On On!
[Penned by Tad Murky]
MUG & T-SHIRT RATINGS
(??*) - Denotes attendance by those not Mug Rated (social hounds).
GOLD T-SHIRT AWARD (50 AND OVER)
Andy (Warthog) Goodman (167); Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones (119); Terry (Buggalugs) Canham (108); Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle (89); Ed (Birdseye) Sadd (86); Terry (Walt) Disney (74); Tim (Classic) King (69); Mark (Jibber) Humphries (58); Tim (Silent Running) Bryning (57); Duncan (Day Glo) Ray (50 + 1*)
MUG AWARD AND CAN WEAR BLUE T-SHIRT (25 - 49)
J-F (Entente) Lechanoine (47); John (Semaphore) Carr (42); Frances (Stop Watch) Canham (34*); Ruth (Typhoon) Canham (34*); Sylvie (Ça Va) Lechanoine (32); Jason (Kinky Bugger) Wareham (29); Helen (Elle) Goodman (26*); Nik (Vesper) Beecher (25+ TBC)
NEED MORE HASHES OR POSTING ORDER (10 - 24)
Jim (Forget Me Not) Forrest (24 + 6*); Martin (Madness) Lawson (22); Steve (Bob the Builder) Pritchard (20); Nick (Tri Harder) Bateson (20); Gordon (F Med) Rafferty (18); Tom (Two Shoes) Gillard (15); John (Strider) Bryning (16); Ian (Abdul) Condie (11 + 1*); Lesley (Tinkerbell) Bryning (10*).
NEED MORE HASHES (5 - 9)
Roland (Pet Rescue) Stibbards (9); Gail Sadd (8 + 5*); J-C (Moose Milk) Boisvert (7 + 1*); Sarah Bryning (1+6*); Ben Sadd (6); John Harry (Hot Dog) Ross (5); Emma Sadd (5); John (Nokia) Noraika (5); Nick (The Gnome) Laffan (5); Jayne (Blackberry) Boisvert (5*).
KEEP HASHING (1 - 4)
Clare Sadd (4); Edward Vincent (2); Mark Vincent (2); Heather Terrington (2 + 1*); Ombeline Lechanoine (3*); Rod (Dyno) Thomas (2); Martin Hughes (1); Colin (tbc) McGrory (1); Kate Forrest (1*); Julie Carr (1); James Carr (1); William Carr (1); Robert Carr (1*); Sandie Disney (1*).
Price: Birdseye # 359 |
