THE “THE HEAT / ” (SAYWHAT YOU SEE) HASH
Run Number: 365
Date: Monday 17 Jul 06
Time: 50 minutes
Distance: About 5.5km
Run and Hash Thrash Location: Chez ‘On Pres
Weather: 32°C, scorchio
HARE(S): ‘On Pres Tim (Silent Running) Bryning
HOUNDS
Standing:- Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle
- ’POP’ Terry (Buggalugs) Canham
- Tim (Silent Running) Bryning
- Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones
- John (Strider) Bryning
- Duncan (Day Glo) Ray
- Martin (Madness) Lawson
- Mark (Jibber) Humphries
- Jason (Kinky Bugger) Wareham
- J-F (Entente) Lechanoine
- Andy (Warthog) Goodman
Kneeling:Not In Photograph:- Mark (Shady) Vincent & Brûlée
- Edward (The Wanderer) Vincent
- James (iPlod) Vincent
Social Hounds/Hash Puppies:- Terry (Buggalugs) Canham
- Sylvie (Ça Va) Lechanoine
- Frances (Stop Watch) Canham
- Lesley (Tinkerbell) Bryning
- Gail (Tour Guide) Sadd
- Ruth (Typhoon) Canham
- Sarah Bryning
- Ombeline Lechanoine
- Fiona Vincent
- Janice Vincent
- Monty (Alamein) – very disgruntled
Real Hounds:
THE WORDS
[Another edition for the annals from Tad Murky]
Not the kind of weather that your wordster thrives in. Clear skies and a temperature only a little cooler than the daytime high - ideal for the post hash thrash, but an impending torture for the gathering pack as was evident in their pre-start murmurings. All were made to feel somewhat wimpy, however, when Day Glo hove into view having jogged (with backpack!) uphill all the way from town. A high price to pay for a scoop or two (or three) later. Birdseye’s arrival deflected Kinky Bugger’s attention for a while. As the proud owner of an Alfa Romeo he was somewhat concerned that Birdseye’s parking-space-saving manoeuvre was just a touch close to his rear bumper. Jibber voiced the practical concern about how they were going to access their kit at the end of the run.
Anxious to be getting it over with, despite the absence of the Vincent contingent (slight delay en route), Silent Running gave his usual concise briefing. Dabs on the left, 3 blobs and on, two smileys, a couple of whip-ins including a water-stop (good man!). The swift hash photo, ably executed by Sarah, brought us to the attention of a hasher who was to be left behind.
The One We Left BehindAlamein’s nose appeared under the garden gate, and as we girded up our loins for the On On, he could tell that he was about to be betrayed. As he barked his consternation and attempted a tunnel digging exercise worthy of Charles Bronson, Silent Running had the temerity to look somewhat guilty and urged us to depart as quickly and quietly as possible, explaining that he couldn’t possible let Alamein run as it would surely end in collapse ten minutes later.
So another case of the British treating animals better than humans! The discreet getaway was ruined, however, by the nick-of-time arrival of the Vincents and the obvious joy of Brûlée as she greeted the pack, sending Alamein into a frenzy of jealousy. Ah well, he should take consolation in the fact that she is clearly a Dumb Blonde. [Note: As agreed by On Pres at an Extraordinary Handle Meeting] |
At the first check, BrEW was fooled into thinking that the route couldn’t possibly be round the back of the houses, as that was the way Silent Running had started last time – ah, but he made no allowances for the double bluff. But at the next check, the pattern was to be broken and Strider’s local knowledge (which was to become more obvious as the evening progressed) picked up the trail heading back past the Hare’s front door and then down a ginnel into the woods. Whilst it was pleasant under the woodland canopy, the pace did not slacken, as in fairly short order we were lead down onto the road leading from Bryanston School gates and then further down onto the parallel woodland track.
Whilst BrEW checked to the left and Strider right, Birdseye with his normal taste for the unlikely option headed downhill, followed by Dumb Blonde who obviously thought it a more interesting route. Her contretemps with another canine, proved it was perhaps not such a wise choice, which was underlined by BrEW calling the On-On. He was a good stretch ahead of the pack by this time but the Hare had cleverly anticipated this and a smiley brought him up short. Ronlet, who also uses the school grounds for a stretch of the legs, correctly surmised that the route would follow a steep track downwards and took up the On, but only briefly as the rest of the pack stormed past her at a foolhardy, breakneck speed. A short check at the bottom and the On was picked up by Day Glo taking us past the Church and from thence through a nicely contrived glade and back towards the school playing fields, BrEW and Strider sharing the On-ers. Another smiley caught out Strider as he bounded off towards the Durweston gate. Unfortunately Ronlet was also caught at this juncture and as the pack lead by BrEW found the On pretty quickly and sadly uphill, she was soon trailing in their wake doing a pretty good impression of a stranded carp.
Despite the heat, the pace was fairly unrelenting, and it came back to us why Strider was called Strider. At the next check Silent Running took pity on Ronlet, tipping her the wink that the trail headed down, but spoiling it all by pointing out that for every Down there is always an Up. The Wanderer and i-Plod had sussed this and at the next couple of checks took the opportunity to search up hill but to no avail. The Hare was merciless and Madness, not for the first time, wondered where the water stop was. Third time lucky (or was it a collective cosmic ordering?) the blobs did continue up a steep track to a stile. Too steep to run as far as the wordster is concerned and Shady tended to agree although he made a valiant effort to keep to a steady jog. Once again it was Strider in the lead but being too quick can catch you out and he was already over a stile into the next field when the check was spotted and he was caught on the wrong side of the hedge. “I’m glad I didn’t go all the way!” Ronlet panted, which raised an eyebrow or two, and Madness wondered if that was not being a little risqué. Yet another word the French don’t have an equivalent for.
Just as cold beers were materialising tantalisingly close, the mirage was quenched by the longed for water stop. Warthog dispensed the needful, confusing the dehydrated assembly with promises of flavoured cordials. Fortunately plain water was just the ticket, particularly for throwing over the head. Suitably revived, the pack proceeded with renewed vigour to the next check and here, with the end in sight, psychology took over. It couldn’t possibly be the obvious route to the left, so Warthog checked the route going off at 180 degrees to our destination. Wrong! Strider picked up the On and kept a level head at the next check when Birdseye, BrEW and Entente decided to check out fields with no clear exit at all. Just stick behind the youngster! - who by this stage was being greeted at the next check by the school ‘security guard’. No problem – in fact on arrival of the rest of the pack, he informed us, he would love to have joined us, being an ex-hasher, but flat feet had curtailed his running exploits – industrial injury I fear.
Psychology was really clicking in now, with the hounds reluctant to check the really obvious route down the road towards Bryanston village. Birdseye and Entente knew someone had to do it and their generosity paid off. At the road junction, there seemed to be a conviction that the final leg would be on tarmac, leaving Strider, BrEW and Ronlet to check out the wood. Could it be inside information – the Hare insisted that it wasn’t, but that Strider was right again, and after another couple of checks and a final uphill struggle (not for Strider) the pack picked up the On In.
Despite the relief of stopping, the pack conceded it was an excellently laid trail and offered up a deserved round of applause. Water was provided for the men’s ablutions in the garage, but the unfortunate Ronlet was forced to use the shower in the house.
Our numbers were swelled by a good turnout of social hashers including Buggalugs, Stop Watch and Typhoon taking a chance to relax from the frenetic preparations for their move to Washington. Tour Guide soon arrived and deflected the thanks bestowed on her for the pud contribution – it would appear that Birdseye is the ‘dessertier’ in their household – and a jolly fine rhubarb crumble it was too. Ombeline enhanced the Norman contingent, and maiden social hashers, Janice and Fiona Vincent, also joined us ready to be spoiled with the usual fine culinary efforts of Tinkerbell and her team plus Ça Va, whose back injury didn’t prevent her contributing those tartes célèbres.
Silent Running with all the aplomb expected of the BH3 On Pres, presented Madness with his engraved tankard – only 5 runs late, which is a jolly good effort.
Presentations at the Hash Thrash
As a mark of our thanks ‘On Pres Tim (Silent Running) Bryning presents POP (Past ‘On Pres) Terry (Buggalugs) Canham with a photo montage of previous Hashes.
‘On Pres presents Martin (Madness) Lawson with his mug for successfullt completing 25 Hashes
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Then much to the surprise of our former On Pres, Buggalugs was presented with a special award for ‘services to the Hash’ ~ a carefully selected montage of Hash photos which will no doubt find pride of place in the Canham’s smallest room.
A fine Hash Thrash with only one thing to mar the occasion. Silent Running will have to do some serious doggy coddling if he’s to get back into Alamein’s good books. On On.
MUG & T-SHIRT RATINGS
(??*) - Denotes attendance by those not Mug Rated (social hounds).
GOLD T-SHIRT AWARD (50 AND OVER)
Andy (Warthog) Goodman (173); Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones (127); Terry (Buggalugs) Canham (108+1*); Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle (97); Ed (Birdseye) Sadd (90); Terry (Walt) Disney (81); Tim (Classic) King (69); Tim (Silent Running) Bryning (66); Mark (Jibber) Humphries (64); Duncan (Day Glo) Ray (54 + 1*); J-F (Entente) Lechanoine (54)
MUG AWARD AND CAN WEAR BLUE T-SHIRT (25 - 49)
John (Semaphore) Carr (42); Sylvie (Ça Va) Lechanoine (36+1*); Jason (Kinky Bugger) Wareham (35); Frances (Stop Watch) Canham (35*); Ruth (Typhoon) Canham (35*); Martin (Madness) Lawson (30); Helen (Elle) Goodman (26*); Jim (Forget Me Not) Forrest (25 + 6*)
NEED MORE HASHES OR POSTING ORDER (10 - 24)
Steve (Bob the Builder) Pritchard (20); Nick (Tri Harder) Bateson (20); Gordon (F Med) Rafferty (18); John (Strider) Bryning (17); Tom (Two Shoes) Gillard (15); Ian (Abdul) Condie (11 + 1*); Lesley (Tinkerbell) Bryning (12*)
NEED MORE HASHES (5 - 9)
Rowland (Pet Rescue) Stibbards (9); Gail (Tour Guide) Sadd (8 + 6*); Edward (The Wanderer) Vincent (8); Mark (Shady) Vincent (8); J-C (Moose Milk) Boisvert (7 + 1*); Sarah Bryning (1+7*); Ben Sadd (6); Emma Sadd (5); John (Nokia) Noraika (5); Nick (The Gnome) Laffan (5); Jayne (Blackberry) Boisvert (5*)
KEEP HASHING (1 - 4)
Clare Sadd (4); James (i-Plod) Vincent (4); Ombeline Lechanoine (4*); Heather Terrington (2 + 1*); Steve (Cloth Ears) Lomas (2); Rod (Dyno) Thomas (2); James Carr (1); Julie Carr (1); William Carr (1); Martin Hughes (1); Debbie Keevash (1); Gabbi Lomas (1); Colin (tbc) McGrory (1); Mel Taylor (1); Robert Carr (1*); Sandie Disney (1*); Kate Forrest (1*); Fiona Vincent (1*); Janice Vincent (1*)
Price: Silent Running # 366 |
