THE “PIE IN THE HAND IS WORTH TWO” HASH
Run Number: 376
Date: Mon 2 Oct 06
Time: 75 minutes
Distance: About 7km
Run Location: Shaftesbury
The Pub: The Ship Inn
Pub Links:Weather: Clear, dry and warmish
HARE(S): Andy (Warthog) Goodman
HOUNDS- Mark (Jibber) Humphries and Benjy (Trip Hazard)
- Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones
- Andy (Warthog) Goodman
- Ed (Birdseye) Sadd
- Jason (Kinky Bugger) Wareham
- Terry (Walt) Disney
- Martin (Madness) Lawson
Not In Photograph:- Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle
Social Hounds/Hash Puppies:- Gail (Tour Guide) Sadd
- Emma Sadd
Real Hounds:
THE WORDS
As the pack gathered in the Bell Street car park, it was disappointing to note that Tour Guide was not present amongst the runners, despite Birdseye’s predictions. Pity, as it is always useful to have high numbers when running on Warthog’s home turf. Another time perhaps. To compensate for the seasonal shortening of daylight, we’d agreed to meet 15 minutes earlier and anxious not to waste this advantage Warthog gave a speedy briefing – one blob and you’re on and checks as you see fit, and then we were pointed in the direction of Bimport.
Early enthusiasm had the bulk of the pack surging down this road, but a cheeky little jink left was picked up by Ronlet and the route then took us through the Abbey grounds and on to Park Walk. Luck then led BrEW down into the small park area and when we came to the road, Gold Hill seemed to draw many like a magnet. But the Hare had other plans (fortunately) and we continued the movement south, where again BrEW elected the right path leading us through allotments where Trip Hazard had to be discouraged from giving a local Rastafarian a rather hard time- was he on a Hash of a different kind? He certainly seemed quite unperturbed by Trip’s raised hackles!
The trail then headed back into town and we suspected correctly that the steep bits could not be avoided. After some hints from the Hare, Kinky Bugger found the blobs leading up Laundry Lane and we struggled to the top where after a bit of head scratching (actually we were all just gasping for breath) the trail was picked up again past the hospital and then over the road to the familiar viewpoint overlooking Blackmore Vale, with visibility not quite good enough to make out Glastonbury Tor.
Spurning our invitation to join us, a lady jogger was slightly perplexed as we followed after her, but any anxiety that she might be forced to look for sawdust, was immediately allayed as we headed west down Castle Hill and a meander through the earthworks to the puzzlement of the dog walking fraternity. Trip Hazard was in his element and ignored the chosen course of his master for the correct route down to Breach Lane where he startled Ronlet by immediately obeying her command to SIT! Jibber was impressed too when he finally caught up with him.
Not wishing to venture too far from street lighting, our course then wound its way via football pitch, withBrEW in the lead, to residential streets close to the foot of the hill back to the pub. But as we’d only been out for half an hour or so, we knew we couldn’t be heading that way and sure enough Ronlet found the trail leading under the A30 by-pass and along the Motcombe Road. Jibber’s local knowledge homed in on a cleverly concealed pathway half way down a private drive and we were then groping round in the gloom of Pensbury plantation before emerging on to a ginnel leading to the A350 and, as we all knew, to the twists and turns of the Ivy Cross estate across the road.
Ronlet took an early lead, and Madness revealed his lack of Ivy Cross experience by consistently picking the wrong route. However, even those who’d beat the paths on numerous occasions were caught out. Being a pragmatist, Walt played it safe by requesting a shortcut – why bother running round 3 sides of the square when one side takes you to the same place?
When we crossed the A350 again, even though we knew we were ‘On In’ bound, Warthog still had a few surprises so that we found ourselves doubling away from the pub direction for a quick foray into Tesco car park and past the front entrance, giving the queues at the checkouts a brief glimpse of the fine art. Birdseye led the way down towards the Post Office for the final decisions on the route in. Not the High Street, but through a darkened car park and a last dash towards Somerfields, with Ronlet remembering just in time that there was a narrow passage just before the store which led back to the RV. Eager not to allow his better half to beat him in, BrEW charged after her, but was foiled by a recurring injury – well it would recur wouldn’t it, if you insist on mad dashes? So no sympathy there then!
Another fine hash making best use of day and artificial lighting and long enough to ensure sufficient interest in the Ship Inn’s renowned pies. Tour Guide and Emma Sadd thought so too and did not appear at all concerned that they hadn’t done their due diligence in respect of appetite building. As we left, following an hour or so of recuperative ‘troughing’, we almost had a last laugh at the expense of Madness, who, the pub claimed, had cleared off without paying for his pie! Birdseye did the noble thing, but en route home, Ronlet felt sure she had seen the Miscreant pay his dues up front. This, it transpired, was the case. So, Birdseye, the Ship Inn owes you a pie!
After Note
Warthog subsequently returned to the Ship Inn and following a well meaning exchange of abuse with the Landlord explained that Madness had actually paid for his pie at the time of ordering, whereas everyone else had opted to 'try before you buy' and paid after the meal. Following futher discussions about the difficulty of finding the right staff these days, Warthog secured a refund for Birdseye and restored Madness's unblemished reputation to its former status.
MUG & T-SHIRT RATINGS
(??*) - Denotes attendance by those not Mug Rated (social hounds).
GOLD T-SHIRT AWARD (50 AND OVER)
Andy (Warthog) Goodman (184); Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones (138); Terry (Buggalugs) Canham (108+1*); Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle (108); Ed (Birdseye) Sadd (99); Terry (Walt) Disney (90); Mark (Jibber) Humphries (74); Tim (Silent Running) Bryning (70); Tim (Classic) King (69); Duncan (Day Glo) Ray (59 + 2*); J-F (Entente) Lechanoine (56)
MUG AWARD AND CAN WEAR BLUE T-SHIRT (25 - 49)
Jason (Kinky Bugger) Wareham (43); Martin (Madness) Lawson (43); John (Semaphore) Carr (42); Tom (Jock) Moncur (38); Sylvie (Ça Va) Lechanoine (37+1*); Frances (Stop Watch) Canham (35*); Ruth (Typhoon) Canham (35*); Helen (Elle) Goodman (26*); Jim (Forget Me Not) Forrest (25 + 6*)
NEED MORE HASHES OR POSTING ORDER (10 - 24)
Steve (Bob the Builder) Pritchard (20); Nick (Tri Harder) Bateson (20); Gordon (F Med) Rafferty (18); John (Strider) Bryning (17); Tom (Two Shoes) Gillard (15); Ian (Abdul) Condie (11 + 1*); Lesley (Tinkerbell) Bryning (12*); Edward (The Wanderer) Vincent (11); Mark (Shady) Vincent (11); Rowland (Pet Rescue) Stibbards (10)
NEED MORE HASHES (5 - 9)
Gail (Tour Guide) Sadd (8 + 7*); J-C (Moose Milk) Boisvert (7 + 1*); Sarah Bryning (1+7*); Ben Sadd (6); Emma Sadd (6+1*); James (i-Plod) Vincent (6); John (Nokia) Noraika (5); Nick (The Gnome) Laffan (5); Jayne (Blackberry) Boisvert (5*)
KEEP HASHING (1 - 4)
Clare Sadd (4); Ombeline Lechanoine (4*); Heather Terrington (2 + 1*); Steve (Cloth Ears) Lomas (2); Rod (Dyno) Thomas (2); James Carr (1); Julie Carr (1); William Carr (1); Martin Hughes (1); Debbie Keevash (1); Gabbi Lomas (1); Colin (tbc) McGrory (1); Mel Taylor (1); Fiona Ray (1); Robert Carr (1*); Sandie Disney (1*); Kate Forrest (1*); Fiona Vincent (1*); Janice Vincent (1*)
Price: Warthog # 376 |
