THE “BRYANSTON BATHERS” HASH
Run Number: 382
Date: Sunday 3 Dec 06
Time: 1 hour 15 minutes (plus 20 minutes for refreshments)
Distance: About 5 miles
Run Location: Safeway Car Park – Blandford
The Pub: The Stour Inn
Pub Links: Weather: Mild, breezy, sunny (except when it rained a bit), squelchy underfoot (and very damp indeed when totally submerged)
HARE(S): Duncan (Day Glo) Ray – setting off on his live lay in the photograph on the right
HOUNDSJ-F (Entente) Lechanoine
Sylvie (Ça Va) Lechanoine
Martin (Madness) Lawson
Tim (Silent Running) Bryning and Monty (Alamein)
Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones
Pete Fuller
Ed (Birdseye) Sadd
David Orriss
Rowland (Pet Rescue) StibbardsNot In Photograph:- Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle
Social Hounds/Hash Puppies:- Gail (Tour Guide) Sadd
- Wendy Stibbards
Real Hounds:
THE WORDS
THE PRELIMINARIES
One hare and 11 hounds met in Blandford’s Ham car park shortly after 11.00 in weather conditions that were much better than forecast. We were eight habitual hashers and two newcomers,Peter Fuller [On Words Note: not a complete maiden] and David Orriss, who had come from the Dorset Doddlers to see what the BH3 crowd got up to on Sundays. The eleventh hound, Alamein, surely needs no further description.
Our live hare for the day, Day Glo, demonstrated the markings he would be using as he ran round trying to stay ahead of the pack. As it was a live hash, we would be using the ‘one blob and on’ format. Checks and whip-ins would be marked, and there might even be the odd cross or smiley face. Ever the innovator, Day Glo was experimenting with a biodegradable red aerosol raddle spray, much easier than carrying bags of sawdust, and more conventionally used for marking rams to show which ewes they’ve tupped. We were advised that marks would be on the ground or at the base of trees, logs, etc. (This might also cause council workmen to cut down some extra trees; time will tell.)
To help us should we lose all sense of the trail, we were given three maps in sealed envelopes, to be used only in extremis. It’s a good job we didn’t need them, because BrEW absent-mindedly left them in his car.
Day Glo asked for a head start of five minutes and ran off, reappearing almost at once to tell us where to find the start of the trail before disappearing again. With last minute matters attended to, and coats and cameras (and maps) stored in cars, it was time to cross the Blandford Bridge to the start point just inside Bryanston Gate.
THE MAIN PART
We soon found the first little red paint blob as promised, and Ça Va became the first to get her hands muddy climbing up the slope into the woods on the left hand side of the driveway to Bryanston School.
There followed an interesting meander along little used tracks heading north, keeping to the left of the drive. There were lots of hounds sharing the lead and our two newcomers quickly got to grips with the strange marks and jargon used at BH3.
With Silent Running and Alamein on their home turf we made good progress until we encountered an old woman with a black dog that became so exhilarated at meeting us all that it took a while to disengage ourselves and return her dog to her.
On emerging from the woods we took the road past the sewage works, after quite a bit of searching for the trail. Our difficulties continued until eventually Birdseye was seen in the distance waving vigorously from the playing fields, his usual stentorian bellow completely drowned out by the wind. We scampered up the stepped slopes of the playing fields and squished over to a new wooden tower, which was not, as I had hoped, a giant trebuchet, but a climbing wall. From there, our path ran round the edge of the fields and along by the river. At this point it started to rain, so we ran faster. After a few minutes the rain stopped, and so did we, in order to look at the rainbow and catch our breath.
Once more the trail went cold and Entente bravely set off in search of it through a huge puddle in the grass just in time to hear the on called from another direction. His shoes were now very wet. “Quel domage”, we cry. “Quel fromage” ripostes Ça Va, thinking of how they will smell when they get them home.
A cunning bit of trail laying stopped us taking an economical across a fast flowing tributary (Silent Running wasn’t sure he could throw Alamein that far anyway) and instead we ran at right angles beside the water for 100 meters or so to reach a strange brick bridge/weir thingie before running back on the other side. Well some of us did, but a breakaway group (led I think by Ronlet, although it was hard to tell at such a distance) missed the trail leading back from the weir and headed off up the hill until they found a part of the trail we weren’t supposed to find until later. However they were eventually called to heel and rejoined the pack in time to see a few brave men make various attempts to cross a fast flowing stream to reach Day Glo and the refreshments, waiting tantalisingly on the other side.
THE RIVER CROSSING
Birdseye was first to try the crossing, balancing on the slippery fallen tree that spanned the water. A brave attempt, but he slipped off halfway and waded through chest-high water to scramble up the bank with Day Glo’s help.
Next was BrEW who spent ages inching across on his belly in a slow motion commando style. A good effort, but he ended up nearly as wet as Birdseye despite not falling in.
Meanwhile Madness was becoming impatient for refreshment, and realising that he would get wet no matter what method he used, he decided to wade across. All was well until he realised he had started in the wrong place and would need to swim under the tree to get to the other side. This he did, almost dislodging BrEW in the process. He was hauled out of the water, completely soaked, and immediately started on the beer.
Pet Rescue’s crossing was the most stylish; he used two long branches like crutches to keep his balance, and simply walked across. When he had finished, he threw the branches back for others to use. It was fortunate he hadn’t put too much weight on them, as they were rotten and smashed to bits on landing. This was obviously too disheartening for the remaining pack, who decided to do an extra 10 minutes running and go back to an easier crossing point. What wimps!
THE INTERMISSION
As this hash was advertised on the website as an Advent Hash, the hare had brought along beer, hot Glühwein and mince pies. This is a hash tradition, or an old charter, or something. Whatever the reason for them, the refreshments were much appreciated.
At some point during the guzzling someone spotted an official looking notice in a plastic cover attached to our fallen tree. It purported to be from North Dorset Council and explained that a footbridge was to be erected over the stream, work to start the very next day. What a coincidence!
What a fraud, more like. It was, of course, one of Day Glo’s little jokes. As some of us know, he has a bit of a track record when it comes to such spoofs, and he proceeded to tell us of one of them from April Fool’s Day a year or two ago.
It seems that an official looking notice appeared overnight on a building site in Blandford, announcing the intention to build a new McDonald’s and inviting comments via a website. Only one person responded, expressing fervent opposition to the plan. Who was that person? I won’t name names here, suffice to say it was a member of our very own Hash, although not present on this occasion. Much laughter ensued. To continue the tale, a response was sent, deliberately misconstruing the original complaint as strong support for the plan, and including some fake McDonald’s vouchers. More laughter.
By the way Walt, did you ever try to spend those Happy Meal vouchers?
THE REMAINS OF THE DAY
Enough was enough, eventually, and as Day Glo took the short way back with the debris from the refreshments, with Ça Va doing an economical to keep him company, the rest of the pack ran back to where the breakaway group had found their easier crossing, and from there (or thereabouts) on up to the part of the trail that we were now officially supposed to find.
Most of us were now on familiar territory and made light (if somewhat soggy) work of following the trail gradually downhill on the other side of the school drive back to the Gate and thence to the car park. Here we found that Ça Va had more food for us in the form of lots of little cakes (and very good they were too).
After a quick change of clothes in what had become a rather wet and windy car park, we headed to the recently refurbished Stour Inn, where we met up with social hounds Tour Guide and Wendy Stibbards, and partook of further refreshment, both liquid and solid, provided by Big Al and his staff. Some of us stayed quite a long time.
MUG & T-SHIRT RATINGS
(??*) - Denotes attendance by those not Mug Rated (social hounds).
GOLD T-SHIRT AWARD (50 AND OVER)
Andy (Warthog) Goodman (188); Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones (143); Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle (112 + 1*); Terry (Buggalugs) Canham (108 + 1*); Ed (Birdseye) Sadd (102); Terry (Walt) Disney (95); Mark (Jibber) Humphries (79); Tim (Silent Running) Bryning (77); Tim (Classic) King (69); Duncan (Day Glo) Ray (62 + 2*); J-F (Entente) Lechanoine (61)
MUG AWARD AND CAN WEAR BLUE T-SHIRT (25 - 49)
Martin (Madness) Lawson (48); Jason (Kinky Bugger) Wareham (48); John (Semaphore) Carr (42); Sylvie (Ça Va) Lechanoine (39 + 1*); Tom (Jock) Moncur (38); Frances (Stop Watch) Canham (35*); Ruth (Typhoon) Canham (35*); Helen (Elle) Goodman (26*); Jim (Forget Me Not) Forrest (25 + 6*)
NEED MORE HASHES OR POSTING ORDER (10 - 24)
Steve (Bob the Builder) Pritchard (20); Nick (Tri Harder) Bateson (20); Gordon (F Med) Rafferty (18); John (Strider) Bryning (17); Tom (Two Shoes) Gillard (15); Lesley (Tinkerbell) Bryning (13*); Mark (Shady) Vincent (12); Ian (Abdul) Condie (11 + 1*); Rowland (Pet Rescue) Stibbards (11); Edward (The Wanderer) Vincent (11)
NEED MORE HASHES (5 - 9)
Gail (Tour Guide) Sadd (8 + 9*); J-C (Moose Milk) Boisvert (7 + 1*); Sarah Bryning (1 + 7*); Ben Sadd (6); Emma Sadd (6 + 1*); James (i-Plod) Vincent (6); John (Nokia) Noraika (5); John Harry (Hot Dog) Ross (5); Nick (The Gnome) Laffan (5); Jayne (Blackberry) Boisvert (5*).
KEEP HASHING (1 - 4)
Clare Sadd (4); Ombeline Lechanoine (4*); Peter Fuller (2); Steve (Cloth Ears) Lomas (2); Heather Terrington (2 + 1*); Rod (Dyno) Thomas (2); Wendy Stibbards (2*); James Carr (1); Julie Carr (1); William Carr (1); Patrick Ginn (1); Gabbi Lomas (1); Colin McGrory (1); David Orriss (1); Fiona Ray (1); Robert Carr (1*); Sandie Disney (1*); Kate Forrest (1*); Fiona Vincent (1*); Janice Vincent (1*)
Price: Day Glo # 382 |
