THE “FITZPAINFUL” HASH
Run Number: 386
Date: Sunday 28 Jan 07
Time: 1 hour 24 minutes
Distance: About 8km (plus)
Run Location: Okeford Fitzpaine
The Pub: The Royal Oak
Pub Links: To follow
Weather: Overcast and chilly wind
HARE(S): Tim (Silent Running) Bryning
HOUNDS- Ed (Birdseye) Sadd
- J-F (Entente) Lechanoine
- Mark (Jibber) Humphries and Benjy (Trip Hazard)
- Jason (Kinky Bugger) Wareham
- Martin (Madness) Lawson
- Rowland (Pet Rescue) Stibbards
- Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones
Social Hounds/Hash Puppies:Real Hounds:- Monty (Alamein)
- Benjy (Trip Hazard)
THE WORDS
The weathermen have all been saying that this January has been the warmest on record (yet another record for the weather it would seem) and so it was no surprise to wake up to an overcast sky and a distinct bite to the wind. However, it wasn’t raining or snowing and looked set fair for the day. Have to get the weather in somewhere in the write up just to prove the English, if nobody else, use the weather as a talking point.
Having sorted out the weather we can now move on to the pub car park where a motley crew was assembling in various state of attire considered suitable for the mild weather. The wise ones (Kinky Bugger and Jibber) huddled in their car and pretended to be very busy doing nothing in particular whilst Entente, Silent Running, Pet Rescue and Birdseye shivered at little from the cold wind, or was it apprehension? Ronlet made her appearance sans BrEW then Madness turned up and carried out a neat reversing trick that involved driving into the Beer garden (grassy patch with seats) and reversing back beside the fence. Madness was taking no chances, he had a very smart and warm looking waterproof jacket on!
Silent Running then gave us a brief briefing (as they should be) which consisted of telling us that there was something for everyone:- a bit of mud, wet, hill, bog, soggy meadow, brambles and other nasty scratchy things and in some places more than a bit. Oh yes it was definitely going to be 5 miles long! You can almost hear the intake of breath at this statement although we are now all getting used to Sunday runs and a few others taking us upward of an hour and a half. There were also whip ins and smiley faces for the enthusiastic. Grrr. It was then Entente’s turn to perform with the camera and it was all over before we realised it (the picture taking not the run you fools).
Well finally I’ve got to the running bit. Er mmmm. The long preamble is to make up for the loss of memory during the run itself! Birdseye was the first onto the correct trail and called the on on. He then proceeded to get a whole string of checks correct and we were soon out into the meadows, or should I say cow fields, as they were well cut up and not too easy underfoot, with it easy to turn an ankle for the unwary. Across the fields and then a sharp left to the north of Okeford Fitzpaine at the Darknoll Brook, Birdseye still leading the way with Jibber and Entente having checked the false trails very thoroughly. Pet Rescue and Madness were just warming up as we passed a couple more checks with one false trail craftily blocked to stop us taking short cuts (if only we had known it) and arrived at the first whip in. Heading down the road we could see the trail we had taken a few minutes earlier as we headed back towards to our starting point when low and behold another check found by Jibber sent us upwards across yet more grassy soft and sometimes muddy pastures green, in the general direction of Okeford Hill. A couple of the stiles were enveloped in brambles and the blood began to flow. Trip Hazard was guided through the gate option which although longer saved Jibber having to lift him over the said stiles.
Pet Rescue and Jibber were now in top gear (nothing to do with Jeremy Clarkson you will note) checking out the false trails whilst a few were noted for their arrival times at checks to coincide with all the trails being checked so that there was no need for extra exertion. Walt would have been proud of you! By now Trip Hazard had done his obligatory dive into the deepest pool of water around, but this was not to be the end of his antics, but more of that in its proper place.
The length of the uphill was beginning to slow our pace at this point and a number of checks close together on Pillow Mounds allowed us to catch our breath, enjoy the view and search for the way down. Eventually Birdseye found the trail, more by default than by skill and then spoilt it all by thinking a check was a false trail and heading off in the wrong direction. Luckily Silent Running quickly put us right and we headed further down the hill to a farm gate and electric fence and wait for it, a rather large area of seemingly firm mud with the odd tell tale foot print (deep foot print that is) in the middle of it. Trip Hazard obliged by showing us just how deep it was! After all this and we are still not far from our starting point, but now we started to head further away in alarming fashion along a muddy and wet trail with Madness and Birdseye having a discussion on the merits of getting everyone to run to the smiley which must surely be only just ahead. Well it wasn’t exactly where they thought, but it wasn’t far off and the carefully placed blobs had deceived us all. Through what was virtually a hole in the hedge and we were on again. Madness was caught by the brambles and not only did he measure his length on the ground (nearly 6’?) but almost had Birdseye’s running shoe in the middle of his back for good measure. More blood began to flow. A gentle amble through a field full of young lambs helped us catch our breath then another scratchy stile, holly this time and Trip Hazard heading up the hill for the gate with Jibber saying “I hope the trail is in this direction” Well his luck was in as we headed up a road to a junction with a sign that said Shillingstone! Gulp, where the **** are we? Another check and then a smiley, that only Jibber had the pleasure of visiting. Left turn and round the west of Shillingstone, within spitting distance of a pub, but no time to stop as the on was called and we were on our way westwards almost parallel to our route out. Well it was really on home from here with a crafty footpath thrown in near the church to keep us guessing then the pub was in sight. On arrival back at the Royal Oak everyone applauded the Hare for an excellent run and the comment “Are you sure it was only 5 miles?”
After the usual discreet or not so discreet changing behind cars, we said goodbye to Entente, who had an unexpected appointment to keep, and made our way to the bar. Pints of 6X and Sharpe’s Doombar (spelling) at the landlord’s recommendation were drawn and paid for! Then food orders placed and the relaxation could begin.
MUG & T-SHIRT RATINGS
(??*) - Denotes attendance by those not Mug Rated (social hounds).
GOLD T-SHIRT AWARD (50 AND OVER)
Andy (Warthog) Goodman (190); Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones (148); Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle (116 + 1*); Terry (Buggalugs) Canham (108 + 1*); Ed (Birdseye) Sadd (106); Terry (Walt) Disney (96); Mark (Jibber) Humphries (83); Tim (Silent Running) Bryning (82); Tim (Classic) King (69); Duncan (Day Glo) Ray (62 + 2*); J-F (Entente) Lechanoine (64); Jason (Kinky Bugger) Wareham (52); Martin (Madness) Lawson (51)
MUG AWARD AND CAN WEAR BLUE T-SHIRT (25 - 49)
John (Semaphore) Carr (42); Sylvie (Ça Va) Lechanoine (41 + 1*); Tom (Jock) Moncur (38); Frances (Stop Watch) Canham (35*); Ruth (Typhoon) Canham (35*); Jim (Forget Me Not) Forrest (25 + 6*); Helen (Elle) Goodman (27*)
NEED MORE HASHES OR POSTING ORDER (10 - 24)
Steve (Bob the Builder) Pritchard (20); Nick (Tri Harder) Bateson (20); Gordon (F Med) Rafferty (18); John (Strider) Bryning (17); Tom (Two Shoes) Gillard (15); Rowland (Pet Rescue) Stibbards (13); Lesley (Tinkerbell) Bryning (13*); Mark (Shady) Vincent (12); Edward (The Wanderer) Vincent (11); Gail (Tour Guide) Sadd (8 + 11*)
NEED MORE HASHES (5 - 9)
J-C (Moose Milk) Boisvert (7 + 1*); Emma Sadd (8 + 1*); Sarah Bryning (1 + 7*); Ben (The Slobby Uno ♂) Sadd (7); James (i-Plod) Vincent (6); John (Nokia) Noraika (5); Clare (The Slobby Uno ♀) Sadd (4+1*)
KEEP HASHING (1 - 4)
Peter Fuller (4); Ombeline Lechanoine (4*); Wendy Stibbards (3*); Heather Terrington (2 + 1*); Jenny Fuller (2); Steve (Cloth Ears) Lomas (2); Rod (Dyno) Thomas (2); James Carr (1); Julie Carr (1); William Carr (1); Patrick Ginn (1); Gabbi Lomas (1); Colin McGrory (1); David Orriss (1); Fiona Ray (1); Robert Carr (1*); Sandie Disney (1*); Kate Forrest (1*); Alf Sadd (1*); Fiona Vincent (1*); Janice Vincent (1*)
Price: Silent Running # 386 |
