THE “DARK AND SCARY” HASH
Run Number: 413
Date: Mon 1 Oct 07
Time: 63 mins
Distance: About 8 km
Run Location: Bere Regis
The Pub: The Drax Inn
Pub Links: To Follow
Weather: Overcast
Hares, Hounds and Hash Stats
THE WORDS
Once again Madness stepped forward at the eleventh hour and saved the day with an offer of a live lay from the Drax Arms in Bere Regis. And in ’Onour of his efforts there was a good turn out, despite his dire warning of nettles. In fact half the pack was clearly unconcerned about the dreaded weed, donning shorts in a display of careless bravado… Would they rue the day? The wearing of dayglo accoutrements was also debated with the gathering gloom and slight threat of rain. However, with the lingering remnants of a mild day still in the air only Ronlet and Emptier decided to opt for the high vis attire.
Madness was clearly eager to deliver his briefing and get underway. Fortunately the last arrival (need we say Birdseye?) arrived with 5 minutes to spare and after the intrepid BrEW had ventured into the middle of the road to take the photo, the Hare explained in a short and simple statement that there would be no checks (down to the Hounds to decide when those were needed) but an occasional Whip-In for safety reasons and if he thought we were getting too close! The distance of 5 miles explained why he was keen to be off. His parting plea was to exhort us to shout the On loudly and frequently to give him plenty of warning.
The Hounds spent the 5 minutes ‘head start’ time doing those usual pre-run warm ups – you know, chatting about life in general, eyeing the clouds with concern. The pre-run nerves galvanised Ronlet to brave the Gents loos (the only ones accessible from the outside) and she returned to the pack with eyes smarting. After 5 minutes and promptly, the pack set off in pursuit and some wise checking by Warthog led us through the back alleys to the A35 and a somewhat hazardous crossing at that time of the evening, particularly as the pack were eager not to let the Hare get too far ahead. Drivers slowing for the roundabout were probably not expecting 11 runners to charge in front of them. Our burst of speed was soon checked, however, as the trail now took a steep upturn with a couple of tricky and slippery stiles to slow our progress. As a consequence the usual suspects were out in front and we were quite happy for them to do the checking! When we hit a country road, there was a slight respite for aching calf muscles as Warthog picked up the trail going downhill, but after a 100 yards or so we once again turned right, up into a wooded area, clearing the trees to negotiate the steep slope of Woodbury Hill. After all this climbing, Ronlet decided it was time for the low slung, dayglo jacket look. It was noted that Kinky Bugger, despite his Dorset Doddling, doodled up the hill at walking pace – not the only one, but we expect the younger DDs to show more contempt for the inclines.
We were now near the top of Broomhill ridge and entering Bere Wood. Ordinarily this would be classic and enjoyable hashing territory. As Silent Running observed, there was a great latticework of paths to test the hashers’ trail searching abilities; however, in the growing gloom everyone had to be very focussed on their footing and we were grateful that the Hare was using the lighter sort of dust. Strider, Jibber, Birdseye, Kinky Bugger, Emptier and Warthog took it in turns in the vanguard at the many track junctions and even Ronlet ventured down one track, only to be left adrift of the pack when the On was called elsewhere. Best not do that again! Much more sensible to stick with the troops behind. Even so, there was no slacking for any of us, since at every potential check the trail was quite swiftly determined with no time for a breather. It was also occurring to us that if we did lose the trail, we wouldn’t have a clue how to find our way out and BrEW was wondering why he hadn’t brought a compass. Fortunately just as we were getting a little anxious, we came to the first Whip-In, almost glowing in the dark, by the crossing of a major road – probably or hopefully the A35 again. Here Quelque Chose, took a moment “pour tamiser les pommes de terres”, which may explain his more subdued running performance.
The reassembly of the pack did not take long and the Hare had kindly left an arrow to indicate entry into the woodland on the other side. Just as well, as there was no clearly defined path. We had to duck and dive a bit through the trees, negotiating fallen branches and uneven ground. If this “dark and scary” stretch had lasted much longer the torches would have been out, but instead we emerged from the wood to another Whip-In – was the Hare anxious that we were gaining on him? From here there was a 2-way check and Emptier and Strider pulled the long straw calling us right along a metalled track and thence to a cross road. Whilst the 3 ways were checked, Hidden Depths, BrEW, Silent Running and Ronlet agreed that the going thus far had been at a fairly fast, furious and unrelenting pace. But no time to ponder as the On was called straight ahead. Phew!
Whilst better than the woods, the visibility wasn’t brilliant and with the occasional car passing, it seemed sensible to place the dayglo wearers front and rear. Good ploy but with a tempting farm gate to check out every 100 yards or so, the pack did not remain so well ordered. This road was probably the best place on the trail to get a sighting of the Hare – long (just over 1 km) and straight. However, we did not see him – maybe because this time Madness was unsportingly clad in a rather muted grey top, unlike the last live lay where he was easily spotted in lurid green. Perhaps we should have a Hash Rule that live layers wear dayglo or a beacon on their heads?
At the end of this long road section, a turning right looked the most likely and we headed down Spear’s Lane following the Bere Valley. Here we encountered some likely looking trails off right – likely because they headed towards more dark and scary woody bits. But the Hare seemed content to keep us out in the open for the time being. At a track and path junction above Dodding’s Farm, we were almost certain that the footpath, slightly concealed by a hedge, was a dead cert for a final foray into the woods beyond. The torches were out for the first time. But our suspicions were incorrect and Warthog’s faint cries of the On, drew us downhill towards the farm.
The trail was picked up along a footpath to the right, so no respite again, and in the dim light I’m not too certain who was actually out in front – probably Kinky Bugger and Warthog, but they were too far ahead and I was concentrating too much on not losing my footing. It certainly wasn’t Strider or Birdseye as they eventually brushed past me (probably frustrated by my cautious approach to rutted, overgrown paths!). I could hear the calls of the On behind me – indeed we were all being meticulous (as instructed) in calling them regularly and loudly. The only variation to this was when we hit the promised bed of nettles and the “On! Ons!” became “Ow! Ows!” Even those wearing full leg covering were not immune. Eventually the path opened out at another farmstead and bore left to the road into Bere Regis centre on our right. We could see the Royal Oak on the corner and instinctively headed towards it. Thank goodness the Hare had not decided to be too devious at this juncture and we all speeded up for the On In, finding the Hare mopping his brow having arrived just 3 and half minutes ahead of us. How can we be so precise? Well, Ronlet had timed us out for 63 minutes and a couple of seconds. And Madness asserted he had taken 64 and a half. Not bad for a 5 miler and confirming that we hadn’t hung about too much. Conscious that he’d not been in the forefront, driving this fast pace, our ’On Pres was at pains to point out that he had shouted the Ons with great enthusiasm. Hidden Depths, who’s obviously been getting some extra training in, had been slightly more circumspect – no need to waste one’s breath…
In the dark it was easier to freshen up and change, although BrEW failed in that regard as he’d forgotten his change of clothes. Fortunately he had not rolled over this time out and the tracksters were fairly presentable. There was time for some swift hydration before the Shaftesbury mob departed for a couple of hours skittling ~ not before volunteering to lay the next Hash. Merci! We pondered then on the discovery that our French compatriot’s better half had been stricken by a bad back – la même chose comme Ça Va. Spooky. “Eine gute Besserung, Manuela.” A second round in ’Onour of Strider’s impending return to studies was enjoyed by a diminished group, until we all left Silent Running, Strider, Madness and Birdseye to the culinary delights of the Drax Arms.
HARES, HOUNDS, AND HASH STATS
Hare(s): Madness
Hounds: Birdseye, BrEW, Emptier, Hidden Depths, Jibber, Kinky Bugger, Ronlet, Quelque Chose, Silent Running, Strider, Warthog
Social Hounds/Puppy Hashers: Not this time.
Real Hounds: Not this time.
Back to The Words
MUG & T-SHIRT RATINGS
(??*) - Denotes attendance by those not Mug Rated (social hounds).
RED T-SHIRT AWARD (100 AND OVER) ….And we’ve got them – for £10!
Andy (Warthog) Goodman (207); Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones (173); Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle (137 + 2*); Ed (Birdseye) Sadd (127); Terry (Walt) Disney (117); Tim (Silent Running) Bryning (109 + 1*); Terry (Buggalugs) Canham (108 + 1*); Mark (Jibber) Humphries (109)
GOLD T-SHIRT AWARD (50 AND OVER)
Jason (Kinky Bugger) Wareham (80); Martin (Madness) Lawson (79); J-F (Entente) Lechanoine (79); Tim (Classic) King (69); Duncan (Day Glo) Ray (64 + 2*)
MUG AWARD AND CAN WEAR BLUE T-SHIRT (25 - 49)
Sylvie (Ça Va) Lechanoine (44 + 2*); John (Semaphore) Carr (42); Tom (Jock) Moncur (38); Frances (Stop Watch) Canham (35*); Ruth (Typhoon) Canham (35*); John (Strider) Bryning (31); Jim (Forget Me Not) Forrest (25 + 6*); Helen (Elle) Goodman (27*); Mark (Shady) Vincent (27); Tom (Two Shoes) Gillard (26)
NEED MORE HASHES OR POSTING ORDER (10 - 24)
Gail (Tour Guide) Sadd (8 + 16*); Steve (Bob the Builder) Pritchard (20); Rowland (Pet Rescue) Stibbards (19); Gordon (F Med) Rafferty (18); Graham (Hidden Depths) Plaice (17); Lesley (Tinkerbell) Bryning (14*); Peter (Emptier) Fuller (13); Edward (The Wanderer) Vincent (12); Ben (The Slobby Uno ♂) Sadd (11); Sarah Bryning (1 + 9*)
NEED MORE HASHES (5 - 9)
Patrick (Sloe) Ginn (9); Emma Sadd (8 + 1*); James (i-Plod) Vincent (7); Pierre (Quelque Chose) Leroy (6); Clare (The Slobby Uno ♀) Sadd (4 + 2*); Paul (Crazy Fool) Kadoch (5); Ombeline Lechanoine (5*); John (Nokia) Noraika (5); Wendy Stibbards (5*)
KEEP HASHING (1 - 4)
Jean-Baptiste (Pierre) Blandenet (4); Nikki (Xtra Miles) Brooks (4); Andy (Muddy) Cheney (4); Steve Thornton (4); Jenny Fuller (3); Heather Terrington (2 + 1*); Manuela Leroy (2*); Pierre Leroy Jnr (2); Rebecca Leroy (2*); Steve (Cloth Ears) Lomas (2); David Orriss (2); Rod (Dyno) Thomas (2); Janice Vincent (2*); Chantelle Wareham (2); Mary Burden (1); William Burden (1); James Carr (1); Julie Carr (1); William Carr (1); Ben King (1); Gabbi Lomas (1); Colin McGrory (1); Hilary Naylor (1); Fiona Ray (1); Robert Carr (1*); Sandie Disney (1*); Kate Forrest (1*); Renee Ginn (1*); Mike Lock (1); Emma Rae (1); Alf Sadd (1*); Fiona Vincent (1*)
Back to The Words
Price: Madness # 413 |
