THE “TORCHWOOD LIVE” HASH
Run Number: 414
Date: Mon 8 Oct 07
Time: 83 mins
Distance: At least 9 km
Run Location: Shaftesbury
The Pub: The Ship Inn
Pub Links: To Follow
Weather: Dull and mild
Hares, Hounds and Hash Stats
THE WORDS
The pack gathered in the public car park at the centre of Shaftesbury just opposite the Ship Inn. We were greeted by the sight of the police holding down a drunk with blood running down his face – very stylish! Far more stylish was Walt’s tan – fresh from hols in Spain. Our hares for the evening, Kinky Bugger and Jibber, gave us the briefing: Live hares, checks marked with just one dab, 2 smileys, 4 whips in at roads and due to finish in the dark. Ronlet shamed me into writing the words, BrEW took the photo and the hares vanished down hill going North, down Tout Hill, having been assured we would give them 5 minutes start.
At the 5 minute point the pack jogged after the hares and after a number of checks emerged onto the B3081 going East, turned into Dark Lane and then onto the footpath uphill, where Warthog found the first smiley. Back to the road and a right turn again uphill into the woods and through a housing estate. Here we emerged onto the A350 and to a complicated whip-in/check. Ronlet and Silent Running went left which proved correct. Silent Running then continued down the main road and, heartened by the fact that Warthog was following, put on a sprint in the direction of Warminster. Sadly both were called back by Ronlet into the housing estate to the East of the main road. Here the pack lost the trail completely. After some confusion, milling about behind some garages and rechecking the way was found along Blackmore Road and into Wincombe Lane, where Ronlet had to mime the On due to a huge passing milk tanker.
We then went into Great Ground, Mampitts Lane (not sure how to spell that one – spellchecker suggested “Armpits”!), Christie’s Lane (where Silent Running briefly actually got into the lead – it didn’t last long!) and into Belmont Close where we saw a dab in a house gateway. After pausing for a moment in case of the old “through the garden of someone I know” ploy, we moved onwards and soon Warthog was displaying his encyclopaedic knowledge of the area by pointing out where someone’s relatives lived. Through this Walt was wisely biding his time at the checks and harbouring his energy. Now all these street names make me sound pretty shrewd and obviously aware of exactly where I was – actually I had no idea where we were and only found out later in the pub.
Meanwhile back at the hash, we had moved into the countryside along a narrow track in a field and into the twilight. After a long rural gallop we turned right across a style and again lost the trail – Warthog choosing the wrong option for once. We then took up searching the adjacent fields for dabs. Silent Running charged off into the gloom, vaulted a wobbly gate, landed deep in cowshit, hurtled on and promptly got lost in the dark. His cries of “please don’t leave me” could be heard echoing around the black fields until BrEW helpfully turned his torch on and gave him a chance to rejoin the pack.
We then ran a long way up a lane, where Ronlet got so far ahead she thought she had lost us and did a sharp left turn onto another narrow road. Soon afterwards we crossed the A350 at another whip in, then along a path into dark woods, where the pack went left only to be called back right. Then we moved along a very narrow dark path in the woods, where we could not have managed without the torches of BrEW and Ronlet. We emerged onto a road where Ronlet had another good burst in the lead. This led us to the bottom of Gold Hill, which Warthog thought full of smiley potential. Ronlet led the way up, sharing her fear of a smiley only to find the cheerful sawdust face near the top. Energy tanks at zero Walt capitulated and innovated a shortcut to the pub. This left Silent Running, Ronlet and BrEW to jog down Gold Hill to find a smug Warthog sitting at the bottom waiting for them. The 4 survivors then found their way uphill through the park and onwards up the zigzag paths. Then came some crafty but heartbreaking options AWAY from the pub. Somewhere near the Ambulance Station the 4 lost the trail again and chose to pretend that light from the street lights looked like dust because it led back to the pub the quickest way! This surprised the hares who were waiting on the last hill before the pub to suddenly hear the pack back at the pub behind them.
After changing in the very well lit car park, where BrEW and Ronlet attracted some hecklers, we moved into the pub for beers and food. Beer and pies were both very good, the helpful and patient barmaid took most of the coins from the hash cash. The Shaftesbury locals in BH3 were good enough to tell me where the hell we had been and I outlined why the England Rugby team have recently improved so much (but only to wind up the Welsh half of Ronlet). Our grateful thanks go to Kinky Bugger and Jibber for laying such a good interesting and cunning live trail at only a week’s notice.
HARES, HOUNDS, AND HASH STATS
Hare(s): Kinky Bugger & Jibber
Hounds: BrEW, Ronlet, Silent Running, Walt, Warthog
Social Hounds/Puppy Hashers: Not this time
Real Hounds: Not this time
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MUG & T-SHIRT RATINGS
(??*) - Denotes attendance by those not Mug Rated (social hounds).
RED T-SHIRT AWARD (100 AND OVER) ….And we’ve got them – for £10!
Andy (Warthog) Goodman (208); Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones (174); Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle (138 + 2*); Ed (Birdseye) Sadd (127); Terry (Walt) Disney (118); Tim (Silent Running) Bryning (110 + 1*); Mark (Jibber) Humphries (111); Terry (Buggalugs) Canham (108 + 1*)
GOLD T-SHIRT AWARD (50 AND OVER)
Jason (Kinky Bugger) Wareham (82); Martin (Madness) Lawson (79); J-F (Entente) Lechanoine (79); Tim (Classic) King (69); Duncan (Day Glo) Ray (64 + 2*)
MUG AWARD AND CAN WEAR BLUE T-SHIRT (25 - 49)
Sylvie (Ça Va) Lechanoine (44 + 2*); John (Semaphore) Carr (42); Tom (Jock) Moncur (38); Frances (Stop Watch) Canham (35*); Ruth (Typhoon) Canham (35*); John (Strider) Bryning (31); Jim (Forget Me Not) Forrest (25 + 6*); Helen (Elle) Goodman (27*); Mark (Shady) Vincent (27); Tom (Two Shoes) Gillard (26)
NEED MORE HASHES OR POSTING ORDER (10 - 24)
Gail (Tour Guide) Sadd (8 + 16*); Steve (Bob the Builder) Pritchard (20); Rowland (Pet Rescue) Stibbards (19); Gordon (F Med) Rafferty (18); Graham (Hidden Depths) Plaice (17); Lesley (Tinkerbell) Bryning (14*); Peter (Emptier) Fuller (13); Edward (The Wanderer) Vincent (12); Ben (The Slobby Uno ♂) Sadd (11); Sarah Bryning (1 + 9*)
NEED MORE HASHES (5 - 9)
Patrick (Sloe) Ginn (9); Emma Sadd (8 + 1*); James (i-Plod) Vincent (7); Pierre (Quelque Chose) Leroy (6); Clare (The Slobby Uno ♀) Sadd (4 + 2*); Paul (Crazy Fool) Kadoch (5); Ombeline Lechanoine (5*); John (Nokia) Noraika (5); Wendy Stibbards (5*)
KEEP HASHING (1 - 4)
Jean-Baptiste (Pierre) Blandenet (4); Nikki (Xtra Miles) Brooks (4); Andy (Muddy) Cheney (4); Steve Thornton (4); Jenny Fuller (3); Heather Terrington (2 + 1*); Manuela Leroy (2*); Pierre Leroy Jnr (2); Rebecca Leroy (2*); Steve (Cloth Ears) Lomas (2); David Orriss (2); Rod (Dyno) Thomas (2); Janice Vincent (2*); Chantelle Wareham (2); Mary Burden (1); William Burden (1); James Carr (1); Julie Carr (1); William Carr (1); Ben King (1); Gabbi Lomas (1); Colin McGrory (1); Hilary Naylor (1); Fiona Ray (1); Robert Carr (1*); Sandie Disney (1*); Kate Forrest (1*); Renee Ginn (1*); Mike Lock (1); Emma Rae (1); Alf Sadd (1*); Fiona Vincent (1*)
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Price: Jibber & Kinky # 414 |
