THE “BONGA BONGA” HASH
Run Number: 415
Date: Mon 15 Oct 07
Time: 61 mins
Distance: About 5 miles
Run Location: Blandford Forum
The Pub: The Greyhound and later the Simla
Pub Links: To Follow
Weather: Mild (and mostly dark)
Hares, Hounds and Hash Stats
THE WORDS
As it was only a few days since the England vs. France rugby semi-final, Quelque Chose was probably expecting the comments he got from some of the hounds as they arrived at the Ham car park at the back of the old Safeway’s supermarket. It is to his credit that he responded with good grace and tactfully omitted to mention the likelihood of England getting well and truly stuffed by the ‘Boks in the final.
At the appointed time, Walt explained to the nine waiting hares that this was to be a ‘half-live’ hash, as he had already marked out a bit of the trail, and would be laying the rest while we chased after him. Markings would consist only of checks and blobs, with just one blob to signify the on. We were happy to hear we would not be expected to travel beyond the ring road.
With BrEW’s photographic contortions completed, we suddenly found ourselves underway, and heading over the old bridge towards Bryanston Gate. Meanwhile, Walt slunk off in the other direction, carrying two bags of sawdust. Heading up to the school was never a plausible option, as there would be no easy way to get us back to wherever the hare intended to pick up his pre-laid trail, so it was no surprise to find ourselves meandering through the newish housing estate development in Blandford St. Mary. Ronlet did much of the front running here, as befits a resident with local knowledge.
After plenty of wiggling about and at least one suspiciously scuffed dust smudge, we emerged at the Tesco’s roundabout. Sloe was gratified to note our disregard of the usual UK conventions in favour of a US-style anti-clockwise approach that seemed to perplex Blandford’s less cosmopolitan drivers.
At Stour Meadow we lost the trail for a while, but eventually Silent Running led us over the black bridge and gently uphill. Madness remarked that he expected the hare eventually to “take us up the railway track”, and BrEW wondered if this was a euphemism, prompting a remark about a tender behind. Luckily, this rather unedifying exchange was interrupted by a few local wits impersonating our cries of “on on” with attempts of their own. We weren’t fooled though, and were just about to head off when a strangely bulky figure appeared. It was Day Glo, who had arrived late and was carrying his change of clothes in his backpack. So now we were ten.
After a few minutes, some awkwardly spaced shallow steps led us down to Wimborne Road, and on down across the road to the fire station. In conditions that were becoming increasing crepuscular, we took the alleyway leading to Hambledon Gardens, where we again had a slight crisis of direction. Day Glo ran to Emptier’s house in an attempt to get him to join us, but he wasn’t in (or maybe he was hiding behind the sofa). Meanwhile, the pack having eliminated all possible routes at least once, Birdseye found the trail again by looking very slightly farther afield, and led us along Black Lane towards Blandford Camp.
I think it was shortly after we had dived into yet another housing estate that Warthog, Kinky Bugger and Birdseye, front runners all, made a bad guess and got left so far behind they couldn’t hear the main pack calling. Warthog later lectured us on the poor quality of our shouting.
There followed quite a bit more zigzagging though houses, which led us to the Salisbury Road. Turning left would take us back into town, so of course we had to go right, led again by Ronlet. Eventually we followed Warthog onto the Higher Shaftesbury Road, between the cemetery and the dump tip Household Recycling Centre, and so downhill in higgledy-piggledy fashion to a path running beside the disused railway track.
By now it was pretty dark, and torches had been in use for a while, although Silent Running seemed to have eschewed such practical devices in favour of Christmas tree decorations. We descended some invisible steps to the even blacker cutting below and started searching for dust. Eventually Birdseye led us up the other side of the tracks and through a wire mesh gate onto a large field. We had no idea where we were. Even the locals were baffled, until Day Glo realised we were on the cricket pitch. Warthog found and followed the trail running down the side of the field, while the rest of us headed more directly for the gate leading to Park Road, as Day Glo said it would be the only one open. It was.
For some time our pace had been gradually increasing, and the trend continued as we sprinted down White Cliff Mill and then wove our way round the back of the Crown Hotel and across the main road back to the Ham car park. We had taken just over an hour and had never caught sight of the hare, although he had heard us at quite a few points. We all felt we had had jolly good workout.
After a brisk change of clothes we adjourned to the Greyhound, where we met up with Manuela and the Leroy dog, Trip, and had a drink before most of us repaired to the Simla for a light snack good feed. Walt was a little late joining us at the restaurant, as he hadn’t fancied leaving his shiny clean car in the car park. He turned up after ten minutes having driven it all round town only to leave it back where he’d started. We spent several enjoyable hours in the Simla, and were the last to leave, having out-eaten the other diners, or scared them off. Thanks are due to Quelque Chose for buying the drinks, and to Silent Running for telling the Bonga Bonga joke.
HARES, HOUNDS, AND HASH STATS
Hare(s): Walt
Hounds: Birdseye, BrEW, Day Glo, Kinky Bugger, Madness, Quelque Chose, Ronlet, Sloe, Silent Running, Warthog
Social Hounds: Manuela Leroy and Trip
Real Hounds: Not this time
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MUG & T-SHIRT RATINGS
(??*) - Denotes attendance by those not Mug Rated (social hounds).
RED T-SHIRT AWARD (100 AND OVER) ….And we’ve got them – for £10!
Andy (Warthog) Goodman (209); Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones (175); Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle (139 + 2*); Ed (Birdseye) Sadd (128); Terry (Walt) Disney (120); Tim (Silent Running) Bryning (111 + 1*); Mark (Jibber) Humphries (111); Terry (Buggalugs) Canham (108 + 1*)
GOLD T-SHIRT AWARD (50 AND OVER)
Jason (Kinky Bugger) Wareham (83); Martin (Madness) Lawson (80); J-F (Entente) Lechanoine (79); Tim (Classic) King (69); Duncan (Day Glo) Ray (65 + 2*)
MUG AWARD AND CAN WEAR BLUE T-SHIRT (25 - 49)
Sylvie (Ça Va) Lechanoine (44 + 2*); John (Semaphore) Carr (42); Tom (Jock) Moncur (38); Frances (Stop Watch) Canham (35*); Ruth (Typhoon) Canham (35*); John (Strider) Bryning (31); Jim (Forget Me Not) Forrest (25 + 6*); Helen (Elle) Goodman (27*); Mark (Shady) Vincent (27); Tom (Two Shoes) Gillard (26)
NEED MORE HASHES OR POSTING ORDER (10 - 24)
Gail (Tour Guide) Sadd (8 + 16*); Steve (Bob the Builder) Pritchard (20); Rowland (Pet Rescue) Stibbards (19); Gordon (F Med) Rafferty (18); Graham (Hidden Depths) Plaice (17); Lesley (Tinkerbell) Bryning (14*); Peter (Emptier) Fuller (13); Edward (The Wanderer) Vincent (12); Ben (The Slobby Uno ♂) Sadd (11); Sarah Bryning (1 + 9*); Patrick (Sloe) Ginn (10)
NEED MORE HASHES (5 - 9)
Emma Sadd (8 + 1*); Pierre (Quelque Chose) Leroy (7); James (i-Plod) Vincent (7); Clare (The Slobby Uno ♀) Sadd (4 + 2*); Paul (Crazy Fool) Kadoch (5); Ombeline Lechanoine (5*); John (Nokia) Noraika (5); Wendy Stibbards (5*)
KEEP HASHING (1 - 4)
Jean-Baptiste (Pierre) Blandenet (4); Nikki (Xtra Miles) Brooks (4); Andy (Muddy) Cheney (4); Steve Thornton (4); Jenny Fuller (3); Manuela Leroy (3*); Heather Terrington (2 + 1*); Pierre Leroy Jnr (2); Rebecca Leroy (2*); Steve (Cloth Ears) Lomas (2); David Orriss (2); Rod (Dyno) Thomas (2); Janice Vincent (2*); Chantelle Wareham (2); Mary Burden (1); William Burden (1); James Carr (1); Julie Carr (1); William Carr (1); Ben King (1); Gabbi Lomas (1); Colin McGrory (1); Hilary Naylor (1); Fiona Ray (1); Robert Carr (1*); Sandie Disney (1*); Kate Forrest (1*); Renee Ginn (1*); Mike Lock (1); Emma Rae (1); Alf Sadd (1*); Fiona Vincent (1*)
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Price: Walt # 415 |
