Sorry - no photograph this time!
THE “LOADS OF BULL” HASH
Run Number: 417
Date: Sun 4 Nov 07
Time: 1 hr 20 mins
Distance: 5-ish with a steep hill
Run Location: Child Okeford
The Pub: The Saxon Inn
Pub Links: To Follow
Weather: Sunny
Hares, Hounds and Hash Stats
THE WORDS
Past experience should have warned us that these hares are skilled in the arts of feint and deception, but the hounds had forgotten this when we assembled in the car park of a newly refurbished Saxon Inn on a beautiful, sunny November morning. Our adrenaline had already been stirred by a pre-briefing dog fight in which Trip Hazard had quickly dispatched the resident Flatcoat.
With BrEW not present (always a worrying sign), Ronlet gave the usual pre-hash briefing, Watch out for dog poo, don’t run over any OAPs and when you go through the churchyard please show some respect and walk, don’t run. (Deception) With the high ramparts of Hambledon Hill towering over us Ronlet indicated the ON in the totally opposite direction. Sloe and Jibber led us out on the road to Manston. (Feint) A check-back brought us back along the fields skirting the village, where Trip Hazard and a returning, invigorated Alamein could wallow in the extremely muddy puddles. Quelque Chose picked up the trail that took us back into the houses via a couple of cunning checks and false trails.
Silent Running eventually located the correct trail that led us out of the houses and on to a bridle way at the base of Hambledon Hill. The obvious route would be straight up, but the hares contrived another feint to the left along level ground and Kinky Bugger picked up the trail which led on to a check at the bottom of another bridle path and so up the hill.
At last we began our ascent of Hambledon Hill. At the end of the bridle way before open ground we arrive at a sabotaged pile of sawdust. A quick vote among the hounds decided that this was actually a whip-in and we could all have a breather. Here we set up Base Camp while we girded ourselves for the final assault on the summit via the south west face. A handsome shorthorn bull, boasting a fine copper nose ring, looked on impassively as we all WALKED up the ramparts. (Shorthorn bulls are noted for their good temperament according to Pet Rescue). As I scaled the penultimate rampart I could see Sloe and Jibber posing on the summit like Hillary and Tensing.
The descent was more chaotic as the trail was totally lost for five minutes until Quelque Chose spotted dust on a path heading down the far side of the hill. Kinky Bugger ably demonstrated the art of Bum-Sledging on the steepest part of the trail. His rapid descent was facilitated and lubricated by the fluid consistency of the cow poo that he had slipped in. At the bottom of the hill we arrived at a check with false trails leading left and right. Sloe soon picked up the ON trail leading through the trees, but he totally failed to spot the missing hare, BrEW, hiding behind a slim ash sapling, his position given away only by his toes and a large black plastic sack he was carrying, apparently full of dog poo(according to a bemused and fortunately inaccurate local). Two checks on the road at the foot of the hill had the hounds perplexed until Kinky Bugger spotted a small footpath sign and we were ON again.
Having decided at this point to leave the rest of us and take what he thought was the direct route back to the pub, Walt had meanwhile found himself next to the churchyard and, recalling Ronlet’s words at the briefing, he waited in vain for the pack to catch up. (Hook, line, sinker and tackle box=Deception). What a mistake-a to make-a!
The pack headed away from the church and Jibber and Kinky Bugger picked up the trail through fields at the back of Cross Farm. Here, a handsome British White Bull, sporting another splendid copper nose ring, watched suspiciously as we crossed his field. I gave him a wide birth, British White Bulls are NOT known for their gentle disposition.
As we ran, I noticed Alamein, who was busily scent marking the new territory with one hind leg in the air. He has exactly 3 seconds before his extending lead reaches the end of its tether and he is snapped away in mid-piddle, 4 seconds uphill, 2 seconds downhill. [A mine of useful information, Pet Rescue later revealed that he was sure he had put those nose rings in, he definitely did the White Bull and possibly the shorthorn a couple of years ago. So yes, he does do body piercing as a sideline ~ any takers?]
We finally came to the ON IN sign and Quelque Chose led the pack back to the Saxon Inn and beer, (5 minutes ahead of Walt). The pub, however, was quite busy and the barman looked hassled, drinks were slow in coming. I tried to attract the landlord’s attention when I noticed a colourful tattoo on his forearm of a large anchor, Popeye style. Oh I said, I can see you're naval. His reply was terse, I don’t care if you can see my arse, wait your turn, I'll get to you in a minute.
Hash marks; technical merit: tricky 8/10. Artistic interpretation : Great views 9/10. Pub 6/10 slow beer.
HARES, HOUNDS, AND HASH STATS
Hare(s): Ronlet & BrEW
Hounds: Jibber, Kinky Bugger, Pet Rescue, Quelque Chose, Silent Running, Sloe, Walt
Social Hounds: Not this time
Real Hounds: Alamein, Trip Hazard
Back to The Words
MUG & T-SHIRT RATINGS
(??*) - Denotes attendance by those not Mug Rated (social hounds).
RED T-SHIRT AWARD (100 AND OVER) ….And we’ve got them – for £10!
Andy (Warthog) Goodman (210); Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones (177); Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle (141 + 2*); Ed (Birdseye) Sadd (129); Terry (Walt) Disney (121); Tim (Silent Running) Bryning (113 + 1*); Mark (Jibber) Humphries (113); Terry (Buggalugs) Canham (108 + 1*)
GOLD T-SHIRT AWARD (50 AND OVER)
Jason (Kinky Bugger) Wareham (85); Martin (Madness) Lawson (82); J-F (Entente) Lechanoine (79); Tim (Classic) King (69); Duncan (Day Glo) Ray (65 + 2*)
MUG AWARD AND CAN WEAR BLUE T-SHIRT (25 - 49)
Sylvie (Ça Va) Lechanoine (44 + 2*); John (Semaphore) Carr (42); Tom (Jock) Moncur (38); Frances (Stop Watch) Canham (35*); Ruth (Typhoon) Canham (35*); John (Strider) Bryning (31); Jim (Forget Me Not) Forrest (25 + 6*); Helen (Elle) Goodman (27*); Mark (Shady) Vincent (27); Tom (Two Shoes) Gillard (26)
NEED MORE HASHES OR POSTING ORDER (10 - 24)
Gail (Tour Guide) Sadd (8 + 16*); Steve (Bob the Builder) Pritchard (20); Rowland (Pet Rescue) Stibbards (20); Gordon (F Med) Rafferty (18); Graham (Hidden Depths) Plaice (17); Lesley (Tinkerbell) Bryning (14*); Peter (Emptier) Fuller (13); Edward (The Wanderer) Vincent (12); Patrick (Sloe) Ginn (11); Ben (The Slobby Uno ♂) Sadd (11); Sarah Bryning (1 + 9*)
NEED MORE HASHES (5 - 9)
Pierre (Quelque Chose) Leroy (9); Emma Sadd (8 + 1*); James (i-Plod) Vincent (7); Clare (The Slobby Uno ♀) Sadd (4 + 2*); Paul (Crazy Fool) Kadoch (5); Ombeline Lechanoine (5*); John (Nokia) Noraika (5); Wendy Stibbards (5*)
KEEP HASHING (1 - 4)
Jean-Baptiste (Pierre) Blandenet (4); Nikki (Xtra Miles) Brooks (4); Andy (Muddy) Cheney (4); Steve Thornton (4); Jenny Fuller (3); Manuela Leroy (3*); Heather Terrington (2 + 1*); Pierre Leroy Jnr (2); Rebecca Leroy (2*); Steve (Cloth Ears) Lomas (2); David Orriss (2); Rod (Dyno) Thomas (2); Janice Vincent (2*); Chantelle Wareham (2); Mary Burden (1); William Burden (1); James Carr (1); Julie Carr (1); William Carr (1); Ben King (1); Gabbi Lomas (1); Colin McGrory (1); Hilary Naylor (1); Fiona Ray (1); Robert Carr (1*); Sandie Disney (1*); Kate Forrest (1*); Renee Ginn (1*); Mike Lock (1); Emma Rae (1); Alf Sadd (1*); Fiona Vincent (1*)
Back to The Words
Price: Ronlet & Brew # 417 |
