THE “MONTY’S A MUPPET” HASH
Run Number: 425
Date: Sunday 24 Feb 08
Time: 60 minutes
Distance: About 7km
Run Location: Tarrant Keynston
The Pub: The True Lovers’ Knot
Pub Links: Weather: OK
Hares, Hounds and Hash Stats
THE WORDS
What I want to know is how am I supposed to write up the words when I’ve got no map to crib from and am suffering from short as well as longer term memory loss?! Not only that, but it is now over a week since the run and what details I thought I had remembered have merged into some sort of grey amorphous mass with no definable features. Oh well I suppose I’ll have to dream up something to keep all the purists happy, but don’t rely on it being “the whole truth and nothing but the truth”.
I know we started on a Sunday morning so I am confident about that bit. It may have been raining, but I am fairly certain that is wasn’t as I don’t remember washing my trainers after the event. Actually now I think about it I am not sure when I last washed my trainers. It’s easier to find them when they let you know where they are, it you get my drift or was it whiff. The assembled throng (6 Hounds and one Hare) managed to force an entrance to the car park in spite of a formidable chain across the entrance. It should be noted here that BrEW and Ronlet are rapidly trying to usurp Birdseye from his favoured position of turning up last and only just time to see the rear most hound disappearing around the corner.
Briefing: there was one, I know, and it went something like this. Usual blobs crosses and W’s of which there are three. False trails are mostly marked, except where they are not. Table for 6 booked for food afterwards and it’s one and you’re on (after Hash flash has had his lean back, knees bent moment of glory in front of the Pub sign).
The Hare suggested that we start looking on the far side of the main road to set the ball rolling and having dodged the traffic (we sometimes have this problem in Dorset) Alan set off at a grand old pace up the hill towards Blandford, never to be seen again. Oops, sorry I lied, because before he got to Blandford he found the first check and disappeared round the back of the houses whilst the rest of us continued up the road only to be called back by Madness who had found the trail over a stile and along the edge of a field. Now it was somewhere around here that Alamein baulked at the hurdle (stile) and seemed totally nonplussed by this strange obstacle in his way, whereupon Silent Running was heard by the scribe to call him (Alamein) and I quote “a muppet.” Such language in front of all those other hounds. Poor Alamein must have been most embarrassed because he then set off at a rate of knots and proceeded to wind his lead around every available post and obstacle while Silent Running was not too silent to say the least. More of Alamein later.
Another check and Madness was marvelling at how he had got into pole position only to find that meandering across meadows wasn’t a sure fire way of finding the trail. Birdseye had disappeared through the houses of Tarrant Keynston looking for some improbable path when Ronlet gave the on-on call up a slight hill and over a stile where this time Alamein was better behaved. More meadow wandering now took place before Birdseye picked up the trail through a gap in the hedgerow and on to another check. Alan had now got his bearings sorted out or was it just luck? In any case he was on and heading to the main road (B3082) where there was a whip in.
Crossing the main road to the woods on the other side, we headed towards the golf course much to the consternation of some golfers who were in the process of Teeing up their next shots. Discretion being the better part of valour, we left the golfers to their little white balls and to muted cries of on on headed north towards Keynston Down and another check. Birdseye foolishly investigated another hole of the golf course before checking back to see the Hare gesticulating wildly that he was not on the trail. Silent Running was now in full flight with BrEW helping the Hare to make sure no one was left behind. Somewhere around here there was another whip in where we all gathered to catch our breath before BrEW now picked up the trail heading towards Tarrant Rushton and Alan and Birdseye were called back from the Tarrant Rawston road where they had been investigating blobs behind somebody’s house only to realise they were on a false trail again.
We now crossed the Tarrant River and as usual for river valleys the only way out is up. So, up we went with a couple of false trails and Madness talking about the Tarrant 10km and how familiar this looked. Another whip in at the edge of the old airfield got us all back together again. Here the Hare told us the beers were is the clump of trees over yonder. Yonder being a good half mile away. Possible, but unlikely was the general consensus and the Hare agreed that actually he was lying and the trail lay to the south east and Preston Farm. It was along here that Silent Running admitted that Alamein wasn’t his normal self, and had tripped over some imagined obstacle and gone flat on his face. Pride was restored by a welcome wallow in the nearest and coincidentally deepest puddle!
Having enjoyed some flat running for a few minutes we were soon once again heading down hill to another check. Only Birdseye was fooled by this one and Ronlet took up the chase and disappeared from view round a corner and out onto the road to see the On home sign and sprint for home. An easy run in along the road had the hounds puffing into the car park and that was it as far as I can remember.
So another good run through some lovely countryside with a well marked trail. Walt certainly doesn’t stint himself on sawdust and the blobs were a credit to him. Tinkerbell was ready waiting for us and, it not being too cold, a leisurely change of clothes and clean up took place, then an amble to the bar for Sunday lunch. We were more than the expected 6 and with Tour Guide eventually joining us we had to move to a bigger table. Hopping Hare was the new Badger Bitter on tap and it slipped down well ( I think).
HARES, HOUNDS AND HASH STATS
Hare(s): Walt
Hounds: Birdseye, BrEW, Madness, Ronlet, Silent Running and Alan Kerridge
Social Hounds/Puppy Hashers: Tinkerbell and Tour Guide
Real Hounds: Alamein
Back to The Words
MUG & T-SHIRT RATINGS
(??*) - Denotes attendance by those not Mug Rated (social hounds).
RED T-SHIRT AWARD (100 AND OVER) ….And we’ve got them – for £10!
Andy (Warthog) Goodman (215); Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones (186); Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle (149 + 2*); Ed (Birdseye) Sadd (136); Terry (Walt) Disney (128); Tim (Silent Running) Bryning (122 + 1*); Mark (Jibber) Humphries (121)
GOLD T-SHIRT AWARD (50 AND OVER)
Jason (Kinky Bugger) Wareham (94); Martin (Madness) Lawson (85 + 5*); Duncan (Day Glo) Ray (69+ 2*); Tim (Classic) King (69)
MUG AWARD AND CAN WEAR BLUE T-SHIRT (25 - 49)
John (Strider) Bryning (33); Helen (Elle) Goodman (30*); Gail (Tour Guide) Sadd (8 + 20*); Mark (Shady) Vincent (27); Tom (Two Shoes) Gillard (26)
NEED MORE HASHES OR POSTING ORDER (10 - 24)
Rowland (Pet Rescue) Stibbards (24); Peter (Emptier) Fuller (17); Graham (Hidden Depths) Plaice (17); Lesley (Tinkerbell) Bryning (15*); Pierre (Quelque Chose) Leroy (15); Ben (The Slobby Uno ♂) Sadd (13); Edward (The Wanderer) Vincent (12); Patrick (Sloe) Ginn (11); Sarah (..) Bryning (1 + 9*); Emma (…) Sadd (8 + 2*)
NEED MORE HASHES (5 - 9)
Wendy (…) Stibbards (8*); Jenny (…)Fuller (3 + 4*); James (i-Plod) Vincent (7); Clare (The Slobby Uno ♀) Sadd (4 + 2*); Paul (Crazy Fool) Kadoch (5); Manuela (…)Leroy (5*)
KEEP HASHING (1 - 4)
Nikki (Xtra Miles) Brooks (4); Andy (Muddy) Cheney (4); Alan (…) Kerridge (4);Steve Thornton (4); Pierre Leroy Jnr (3); Rebecca Leroy (3*); Fiona (…) Ray (1+2*); Paul Allen (2); David Orriss (2); Elsie May Ray (2*); Alf Sadd (2*); Janice Vincent (2*); Chantelle Wareham (2); Jane Allen (1); Sandie Disney (1*); Renee Ginn (1*); Ben King (1+1*); Alice King (1*); George King (1*); Sarah King (1); Mike Lock (1); Colin McGrory (1); Hilary Naylor (1); Emma Rae (1); Jon (Circus Boy) Smallwood (1); Fiona Vincent (1*)
Back to The Words
Price: Walt # 425 |
