THE “BETTER LATE THAN NEVER” HASH
Run Number: 436
Date: Monday 23 Jun 08
Time: Not given, but long by the sound of it!
Distance: 5 to 6 miles
Run Location: Shaftesbury
The Pub: Ye Olde Two Brewers
Pub Links: To follow
Weather: Mostly dry, even underfoot
Hares, Hounds and Hash Stats
THE WORDS
6.15 pm on an overcast Monday evening and Birdseye is beginning to think he has come to the wrong location for the run or perhaps unbeknown to him the venue has been changed. This in itself is most unusual as he is often the last one to arrive (normally as Hash Flash is taking the group picture). 6.17 and Birdseye is now quite alarmed. Something must have happened to everyone else. 6.18 and Madness rolls up with not a care in the world, so what’s new there? Then the rest of the Hounds are soon piling into the car park after deciding that perhaps it was a better bet than parking on the road outside the front door of the Pub. 6.28 and no sign of Hilary, Tour Guide’s sister from California who has been putting in a couple of guest appearances. Birdseye takes a look on the main road just as Hilary comes round the bend to make 9 Hounds for this evening’s Hash.
The briefing is short and sweet following what is now becoming an established pattern. 3 blobs and you are on. Couple of Whip-ins, not all checks are marked and there are three Smiley Faces and no prizes for those who find them. Oh, the run is about 5-6 miles or there about. Obligatory Picture, but no BrEW to take it and no “bend da knees man” So Birdseye stands in or is it bends in for BrEW. Picture taken, it’s three blobs and you are on.
Warthog disappears west towards Stour Row, Emptier north towards the Abbey and uphill (never check uphill). Walt finds the trail heading towards Gold Hill, with all his usual aplomb, or is he just lucky? This time not so lucky as the trail immediately heads down hill towards the local allotments and a couple more checks that take some deciphering as the saw dust has been interfered with. Is this to be the story for the rest of the run? With plenty of small streets to check out the pack gets well dispersed, but then Warthog, having rejoined us from Stour Row, calls the on along a narrow track and up hill vaguely in the direction of Gold Hill, but before we get that far another check takes us up towards Salisbury Street. We never get that far because now Madness has overcome us and we are going down hill steeply to Butts Knap and another check. Here we find Jibber turning into one of the front runners with murmurs from the pack to the effect that isn’t he one of the Hares? And from Jibber “I’m sure there are some blobs of dust along here….somewhere. No, obviously not, as no one could find any. It can only be assumed that some saboteur with a very powerful vacuum cleaner had passed this way and sucked up every last grain of dust. On and on we went and if it hadn’t been for Jibber being up there with Silent Running it would have been a case of the blind leading the blind. For Strider it was a case of having to listen for the call of on on as he had disappeared on a self made detour to clock up the miles and ensure he didn’t get too far ahead. Eventually a check was found in the lowest corner of a field that took us out onto the road.
As everyone knows, Shaftesbury is at the top of a hill and every path out of Shaftesbury has to go down hill. This is now the predicament we were to find ourselves in. On the basis that you should never check up hill, it is also well know that you should conversely not check down hill, but what to do when there is no choice? Wait and hope someone else will take the lead would seem a sensible option. Strider can be relied on to help out and he duly obliged and guess what? He was straight onto the trail heading down towards Three Ways. Another check and Warthog found a Smiley that had us all guessing. Lawrence now took up the lead, but was still too reticent to shout loudly that he was on, and it was some time before we realised and took off after him, still going down hill. Whip in number one conveniently got us all together again. One blob and you are on the hares informed us. Birdseye with his local knowledge was keen to head off west towards Gear’s Mill but Madness called us on, now going uphill to West Melbury and still heading away from Shaftesbury. A Check at the cross roads and everyone went west. Why would anyone go east for goodness sake when it was clearly taking us even further from the comforts of the 2 Brewers?!
At last some flat ground and so to the next whip in. Kinky Bugger brought up the rear having carefully counted numbers at each check and shepherded the stragglers in the right direction. Silent Running led us off and guess what? It was down hill again. An ominous sign of things to come? Strider and Emptier now took us in the direction of Guy’s Marsh and the Young Offenders Institution and another check. This time against all the odds, we headed cross country with the only real option of going uphill in any direction. Crossing a tarmac road Strider led us straight to the next smiley from where we back-tracked to a footpath that took us round the back of Cole’s Farm and up, up and still more up round bomb craters, stone pits almost vertical stuff until we spilled out onto the road from St. James Church where there was another whip in.
This being a Hash we did not take the obvious route and as it happens much shorter way straight back to the pub, but diverted uphill via a number of checks past a view point overlooking the pub and soon we were at the top of Gold Hill, with for once the only way to go being down. Hilary got up a good head of steam going down the hill and a right turn at the bottom and it was on in.
Shaftesbury always provides plenty of scope for a good run, and this was no exception. Ye Olde Two Brewers had some good guest ales on tap including Ringwood and a couple of Sussex Brews. The food was reasonably priced and even for Madness the quantities were ample.
HARES, HOUNDS AND HASH STATS
Hare(s): Jibber, Kinky Bugger
Hounds:Birdseye, Emptier, Madness, Silent Running, Strider, Walt, Warthog, Hilary Naylor & Laurence Fowkes
Social Hounds/Puppy Hashers:Not this time
Real Hounds:Not this time
Back to The Words
MUG & T-SHIRT RATINGS
(??*) - Denotes attendance by those not Mug Rated (social hounds).
RED T-SHIRT AWARD (100 AND OVER)… And we’ve got them – for £10!
Andy (Warthog) Goodman (226); Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones (197); Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle (157 + 4*); Ed (Birdseye) Sadd (140); Terry (Walt) Disney (139); Tim (Silent Running) Bryning (134 + 1*); Mark (Jibber) Humphries (134); Jason (Kinky Bugger) Wareham (107
GOLD T-SHIRT AWARD (50 AND OVER)
Martin (Madness) Lawson (93 + 6*); Duncan (Day Glo) Ray (70+ 2*); Tim (Classic) King (69)
MUG AWARD AND CAN WEAR BLUE T-SHIRT (25 - 49)
John (Strider) Bryning (35); Tom (Two Shoes) Gillard (33); Helen (Elle) Goodman (30*); Gail (Tour Guide) Sadd (8 + 20*); Mark (Shady) Vincent (27); Rowland (Pet Rescue) Stibbards (26); Graham (Hidden Depths) Plaice (25)
NEED MORE HASHES OR POSTING ORDER (10 - 24)
Peter (Emptier) Fuller (19); Pierre (Quelque Chose) Leroy (18); Lesley (Tinkerbell) Bryning (15*); Ben (The Slobby Uno ♂) Sadd (13); Edward (The Wanderer) Vincent (12); Patrick (Sloe) Ginn (11); Sarah (..) Bryning (1 + 9*); Emma (…) Sadd (8 + 2*)
NEED MORE HASHES (5 - 9)
Paul (Crazy Fool) Kadoch (9); Alan (Orson) Kerridge (8+1*); Wendy (…) Stibbards (8*); Jenny (…)Fuller (3 + 4*); James (i-Plod) Vincent (7); Craig (Drama Queen)White (7); Clare (The Slobby Uno ♀) Sadd (4 + 2*); Manuela (…)Leroy (5*)
KEEP HASHING (1 - 4)
Nikki (Xtra Miles) Brooks (4); Andy (Muddy) Cheney (4); Hilary Naylor (4); Steve Thornton (4); Pierre Leroy Jnr (3); Rebecca Leroy (3*); Mike (…) Lock (3); Fiona (…) Ray (1+2*); Paul Allen (2); David Orriss (2); Elsie May Ray (2*); Alf Sadd (2*); Ian (House Hunter) Seraph (2); Janice Vincent (2*); Chantelle Wareham (2); Jane Allen (1); Sandie Disney (1*); Laurence Fowkes (1); Renee Ginn (1*); Ben King (1+1*); Alice King (1*); George King (1*); Sarah King (1); Colin McGrory (1); Emma Rae (1); Jon (Circus Boy) Smallwood (1); Fiona Vincent (1*)
Back to The Words
Price: Jibber & Kinky # 436 |
