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THE “BASTILLE OF A” HASH Run Number: 439 Date: Monday 14 Jul 08 Time: 80 minutes Distance: 5.5 miles (long French ones) Run Location: Cold Harbour The Pub: The Silent Woman Pub Links: To follow Weather: Sunny and warm Hares, Hounds and Hash Stats THE WORDS The prologue. Bonjour mes amis. You can be sure that if a genuine Frenchman is organizing Le Hash on Fête Nationale, there is bound to be a party somewhere! Paris traditionally: more’s the pity. The pack tried to gather in the chic smart empty car park of ‘The Silent Woman’ on a warm and balmy summer’s evening. However, ze hounds were quickly “relocated” to the earthy and more challenging parking facilities (back up - left a bit – right a bit – stop) of the lane opposite. Mon Dieu! Ow ar zeez voitures to survives? Nice here init! Can’t imagine how I missed that large tricolore stuck back there in the dark. It was with much gladness that we were also welcomed by the newly blushing (30 days and in no obvious distress) Madame Quelque Chose and the Team Quelque Chose border collie in a traditionally belligerent Bastille Day mood. Non you only bite ze aristocracy stupid not zeez peasants! We also say a hello to new hound, Frank Riley, who decided to don a particularly high end fashion pair of knee length shorts – very Dorset end not Kings Road – of course! As ever the pack arrived in ever increasing numbers until a quorum was declared. Forgetting that in true to form style Warthog, Kinky Bugger and Jibber would pull in after the dot. The pre-amble to the briefing by Ronlet caught yours truly stretching and looking in the other direction. My ears were still pointing in the original direction and caught the dreaded noise “***** ****** can do the words this week”. Can he? [Identity edited out to maintain anonymity!!] Not being of sound mind (or body as it turned out) I may have missed some, most of what was said. If any of those present wish to fill in the blanks, please feel free. Quelque Chose: “Welcome to Hash number 439 at ‘The Silent Woman’ pub. As you know this is quatorze juillet and it is Bastille Day. This is the day in 1789 when the people stormed the Paris Prison and began the French Revolution. Liberty, Equality and Fraternity for all French citizens. The hash is over 5 and a half miles, there are several smiley faces and false trails and if you do not see a check, just go straight on. Someone told me after I had laid half of the trail that I should not use flour. So half the trail is in sawdust. I have placed 3 dots in a line to indicate when the trail will change to sawdust – OK?” OK. Due to the economic climate the dots are very small. In order to illustrate the point Quelque Chose proceeded to take out a flour bag and put a small dot on the ground. ?? Ah hah! In swift action, keys were handed over and we proceeded to cross the main road to the pub car park (apparently that is where the hash was to start). Before the madness BrEW took the hash photograph. With more practice, familiarization lessons and bending of ze knees he might soon be able to take one first time! We followed up the hill from the car park and then left at the barking dogs; going through the Park Rangers’ camp. The first check forced us into the woodland away from the road and down the re-entrant. The sun was by now quite fierce and the old skin temperature was beginning to rise. We followed the valley back north crossing from side to side until eventually after some 10 minutes arriving at the first Whip In. Before all had whipped Quelque Chose led the way west and we arrived back (to some astonishment from the pack) at that ‘challenging’ car park. With a broad smile, team Quelque Chose treated all present to a Bastille day glass of champagne and cocktail eats – how very French! Merci beaucoup!(Can we please book you for next year?) Following this most welcome refreshment we retraced our route to the Whip In and carried on to look for the trail. The pack then toured Wareham Woods on a variety of sandy and gravel trails becoming pretty disorientated. We only had one clue in all this “It’s no longer North!” Inevitably the trail south proved to be false. At one point running up the sand dunes in the heat made me wonder about that other French hero Beau Geste and the trouble he had with sand. Vive La Légion! [Editor’s note: I believe Beau Geste was English – Vive la différence!] House Hunter and Frank succumbed to run-itis which as you know can be a serious cause for concern in hounds. The lame legs were gratefully offered a short cut to home. How trusting can pack animals be? Well, not putting too fine a point on it, the directions were obviously not translated by us too well. On reflection there might have been a deliberate attempt to keep them vague. After a 3 km detour a very helpful lady on her horse asked us if we were lost. Walt not wishing to devalue the male hound stereotype proffered that ‘The Silent Woman’ was that way- “Oh no it isn’t young man,” came the reply, “it’s that way.” You couldn’t make this sort of vignette up – could you? We arrived at Hash Home just as the pack rounded into the car park – just goes to show either Quelque Chose is a genius or there really are more mystic powers at work in the hash. For the main pack there were more checks and checking. Strider, your diarist is informed, then called the On up a very steep hill, which forced the hounds into a scramble ending at the park bench. From this vantage apparently the vista was excellent over the local countryside. Soon after the BH3 was spotted and the pack retraced its steps over the first 500 meters of the trail arriving back at Home as you have already found out to join with the short cutters. To round off a splendid hash, Team Quelque Chose received a standing round of applause! Magnifique! The epilogue. Our grateful thanks go to Quelque Chose for laying such a cunning trail and for taking pity on the lame hounds. Our more grateful thanks and congratulations go to Madame Quelque Chose for adding a touch of ‘Twin Town’ beauty (this must be how the continentals do it – find true love) and for providing the refreshments. A further Michelin commendation for selecting a good food pub too! Vive L’Entente Cordiale! Sur, Sur! HARES, HOUNDS AND HASH STATS Hare(s): Quelque Chose Hounds: BrEW, House Hunter, Jibber, Kinky Bugger, Madness, Ronlet, Silent Running, Strider, Walt, Warthog, Frank Riley Social Hounds/Puppy Hashers: Manuela Leroy Real Hounds: Not this time (well actually not true there was one collie but confined to his car kennel) Back to The Words MUG & T-SHIRT RATINGS (??*) - Denotes attendance by those not Mug Rated (social hounds). RED T-SHIRT AWARD (100 AND OVER) ….And we’ve got them – for £10! Andy (Warthog) Goodman (227); Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones (201); Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle (161 + 4*); Terry (Walt) Disney (142); Ed (Birdseye) Sadd (141); Tim (Silent Running) Bryning (138 + 1*); Mark (Jibber) Humphries (137); Jason (Kinky Bugger) Wareham (110) GOLD T-SHIRT AWARD (50 AND OVER) Martin (Madness) Lawson (96 + 6*); Duncan (Day Glo) Ray (71+ 2*); Tim (Classic) King (69) MUG AWARD AND CAN WEAR BLUE T-SHIRT (25 - 49) John (Strider) Bryning (39); Tom (Two Shoes) Gillard (35); Helen (Elle) Goodman (30*); Gail (Tour Guide) Sadd (8 + 20*); Rowland (Pet Rescue) Stibbards (27); Mark (Shady) Vincent (27); Graham (Hidden Depths) Plaice (26) NEED MORE HASHES OR POSTING ORDER (10 - 24) Pierre (Quelque Chose) Leroy (21); Peter (Emptier) Fuller (19); Lesley (Tinkerbell) Bryning (17*); Ben (The Slobby Uno ♂) Sadd (13); Edward (The Wanderer) Vincent (12); Sarah (..) Bryning (1 + 10*); Patrick (Sloe) Ginn (11); Alan (Orson) Kerridge (10+1*); Paul (Crazy Fool) Kadoch (10); Emma (…) Sadd (8 + 2*) NEED MORE HASHES (5 - 9) Wendy (…) Stibbards (9*); Jenny (…)Fuller (3 + 4*); James (i-Plod) Vincent (7); Craig (Drama Queen)White (7); Manuela (…)Leroy (6*); Clare (The Slobby Uno ♀) Sadd (4 + 2*); Andy (Muddy) Cheney (5) KEEP HASHING (1 - 4) Nikki (Xtra Miles) Brooks (4); Ian (House Hunter) Seraph (4); Hilary Naylor (4); Steve Thornton (4); Pierre Leroy Jnr (3); Rebecca Leroy (3*); Mike (…) Lock (3); Fiona (…) Ray (1+2*); Paul Allen (2); David Orriss (2); Elsie May Ray (2*); Alf Sadd (2*); Janice Vincent (2*); Chantelle Wareham (2); Jane Allen (1); Sandie Disney (1*); Laurence Fowkes (1); Renee Ginn (1*); Ben King (1+1*); Alice King (1*); George King (1*); Sarah King (1); Colin McGrory (1); Emma Rae (1); Frank Riley (1); Jon (Circus Boy) Smallwood (1); Fiona Vincent (1*) Back to The Words Price: Quelque Chose # 439 |
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