THE “SHOE THROWING” HASH
Run Number: 447
Date: Monday 15 Sep 08
Time: 74 minutes
Distance: About 5 miles
Run Location: Donhead St Andrew
The Pub: The Forester Inn
Pub Links: Pub Report
To follow
Weather: Pleasantly warm and dry
Hares, Hounds and Hash Stats
THE WORDS
The drive into Donhead St. Andrew gave some indication of the terrain to those who hadn’t been there before; narrow, hilly little roads wound their way from the outer edges of nowhere towards the middle. We’d been advised to avoid the pub car park if we could because of an influx of bridge players, but there was hardly anywhere else available, so that was that. The first arrivals encountered a man who was not in the garb one would expect of a card enthusiast, and he introduced himself as Richard Ecclestone, an honest citizen who had become accidentally caught up in the madness of hashing during an innocent stroll with his wife Karen the previous day. On encountering the hares going about their nefarious work, and questioning them, as would any concerned local resident, the ridiculous explanations proffered had roused so much suspicion that Richard had decided that further investigation was needed.
After a while, and a bit of car shuffling, there were ten of us, and BrEW made patterns of sawdust on the ground while Ronlet told us about checks, two types of checkback, various spurious blobs, and A BULL. We were also advised that the going would be a little damp in places, which proved to be true, as you will see when you get to the bit about the shoe-throwing incident.
BrEW didn’t bend ze knees as much as usual, and Trudy tried to hide behind the telegraph pole (she’s slim enough to do it, too), but otherwise the photo shoot followed the usual ritual, ending with the pack charging off uphill having found the first-blob-and-you’re-on. We carried on up the road towards the next junction, until we were called back by the hares, who hadn’t moved. It turned out that there was a path on the left across the fields that we’d missed in our excitement. Not a brilliant start for the pack, and Richard was looking bemused.
We soon turned right at the first check and ended up back at the junction we’d almost reached before. Now we knew why we’d been recalled. While Richard and Madness checked out a dirt track with no markings on it whatsoever (poor show), the rest of the pack took the road to the west. We soon crossed a stile on the left and searched the field for the trail. Some cattle quietly browsing up the hill noticed us and stampeded across our path towards Walt, who was searching downhill. Using him as a diversion, we ran forwards. The bullocks (for such they were) abandoned Walt and tried to surround Silent Running, who had sprinted ahead to a gate. But by the time we got there they had run off again, so in the end we didn’t have to sacrifice anybody. So far so good.
We continued uphill across the fields and ran past a puzzled-looking man leaning on a gate. We bade him good evening, but he didn’t reply. When we hit a road in Donhead St. Mary we followed the dust downhill to the south. This took us to another check, where Silent Running explored up a thicket on the right while Strider checked the junction downhill. Silent Running soon called the on and we all followed, only to retreat when it turned out he’d found the first of two promised checkbacks. So it was down the road again, where what had been a cross had suddenly changed to a dab of dust. Ronlet later told us that Strider was so quick coming back down the hill that she had to throw down the dust and leap over a wall to avoid him catching her at her dirty work.
The next check took us over the River Nadder and into some really boggy bits, and it wasn’t all mud either. While most of us were content just to fill our boots, Kinky Bugger managed to discard one of his shoes completely, and in his rage, hurl it at Ronlet. She skilfully dodged it, which was fortunate, as it is a well-known bit of old hashing lore that if a thrown shoe hits the person it is aimed at, then that person must drink a pint of beer from the shoe, or (and I don’t think this often happens) must marry the thrower.
After a short stretch of road we struggled along an overgrown track that went past a mobile phone mast. If you concentrated on not slipping on the mud, then the hanging brambles got you. The coating of mud on our legs served to lessen the sting of the nettles, though. Of course, some of us were unsportingly not wearing shorts. We can forgive Richard, as a novice, but BrEW and Emptier surely had no valid excuse. The track went on for a long way, and Richard, claiming local knowledge, was in the lead and so had the honour of finding the second smiley-faced checkback. Nearby we found a stile hidden in the hedge and crossed over into a field, where we waited for Trudy to complete a pit stop on the other side of the hedge. Then we were off across the field leaping the rows of cut straw like Paralympic hurdlers.
At the end of the field was another road and we headed north back into Donhead St. Mary via many little road junctions. An impromptu whip-in was called outside a house where the check had been erased, and Ronlet replaced the triangle of blobs, saying she didn’t want the perpetrators to think they’d got away with it. The obvious route seemed to be over a stile and across the fields, so that’s where we went, only to emerge back on the road a bit farther up. It was at this point that Trudy and Madness discussed whether this was another devious ploy by the hares, with Ronlet’s recent redusting of the check being part of the plan. Their conspiracy theory was blown apart when the on was called across an adjoining field, though.
We emerged at a whip-in on a road beside a church. While Emptier considered heading through the churchyard, Richard was asked which would be the more inconvenient route back to the pub. Strangely, we ended up going the other way, across some steep fields near to our friendly stampeding bullocks. Eventually we reached the next road and ran up it until we saw the ‘Beware of the bull’ sign by a gate on the right. I didn’t notice the bull, but we did see a big shire horse that seemed to have eaten all the sawdust. After a bit more road and some nice downhill paths across the fields, we had the welcome sight of the good old BH3. Hurrah! And while Trudy washed her feet in the stream, which seems to be a habit of hers, the rest of us headed back to the car park, where our efforts at modesty were challenged by car headlights.
The bridge players were milling around in the pub, but we managed to get our drinks (Butcombe bitter – not bad) and were soon seated at our reserved table. The food was not cheap, but of good quality, and well-cooked. Richard and Karen’s sardines looked particularly good.
[On Words Note – chronology not always accurate, but it still makes a jolly good story]
HARES, HOUNDS AND HASH STATS
Hare(s): BrEW and Ronlet
Hounds: Emptier, Kinky Bugger, Madness, Silent Running, Strider, Walt, Trudy Compton and Richard Ecclestone
Social Hounds/Puppy Hashers: Karen Ecclestone
Real Hounds: Not this time
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MUG & T-SHIRT RATINGS
(??*) - Denotes attendance by those not Mug Rated (social hounds).
RED T-SHIRT AWARD (100 AND OVER)… And we’ve got them – for £10!
Andy (Warthog) Goodman (235); Bronwen (Ronlet) Jones (208); Brian (BrEW) Errington-Weddle (170 + 4*); Terry (Walt) Disney (150); Ed (Birdseye) Sadd (149); Tim (Silent Running) Bryning (146 + 1*); Mark (Jibber) Humphries (142); Jason (Kinky Bugger) Wareham (118); Martin (Madness) Lawson (105 + 6*)
GOLD T-SHIRT AWARD (50 AND OVER)
Duncan (Day Glo) Ray (72+ 2*); Tim (Classic) King (69)
MUG AWARD AND CAN WEAR BLUE T-SHIRT (25 - 49)
John (Strider) Bryning (44); Tom (Two Shoes) Gillard (38); Helen (Elle) Goodman (30*); Gail (Tour Guide) Sadd (9 + 21*); Pierre (Quelque Chose) Leroy (27); Rowland (Pet Rescue) Stibbards (27); Mark (Shady) Vincent (27); Graham (Hidden Depths) Plaice (26)
NEED MORE HASHES OR POSTING ORDER (10 - 24)
Peter (Emptier) Fuller (24); Lesley (Tinkerbell) Bryning (17*); Ben (The Slobby Uno ♂) Sadd (14); Patrick (Sloe) Ginn (13); Alan (Orson) Kerridge (12+1*); Edward (The Wanderer) Vincent (12); Sarah (...) Bryning (1 + 10*); Paul (Crazy Fool) Kadoch (11); Emma (…) Sadd (8 + 2*)
NEED MORE HASHES (5 - 9)
Wendy (…) Stibbards (9*); Craig (Drama Queen) White (9); Jenny (…) Fuller (3 + 4*); James (i-Plod) Vincent (7); Manuela (…) Leroy (7*); Pierre (…) Leroy Jnr (6); Clare (The Slobby Uno ♀) Sadd (4 + 2*); Andy (Muddy) Cheney (5); Ian (House Hunter) Seraph (5)
KEEP HASHING (1 - 4)
Nikki (Xtra Miles) Brooks (4); Hilary Naylor (4); Steve Thornton (4); Rebecca Leroy (3*); Mike (…) Lock (3); Fiona (…) Ray (1+2*); Paul Allen (2); Trudy (Puddle Duck) Compton (2); Sarah King (2); David Orriss (2); Elsie May Ray (2*); Alf Sadd (2*); Janice Vincent (2*); Chantelle Wareham (2); Jane Allen (1); Sandie Disney (1*); Richard Ecclestone (1); Laurence Fowkes (1); Renee Ginn (1*); Ben King (1+1*); Alice King (1*); George King (1*); Colin McGrory (1); Emma Rae (1); Frank Riley (1); Jon (Circus Boy) Smallwood (1); Fiona Vincent (1*)
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Price: Ronlet & BrEW # 447 |
